


No Matter How Long It Takes

by PegasusAngel



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Don't Like Don't Read, Dubious Consent, Dubious Ethics, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Forced Orgasm, Gen, Guns, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Mind Control, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Orgasm Control, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Rape Aftermath, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5451158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PegasusAngel/pseuds/PegasusAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Killgrave's powers had worked on Jessica at the end of series one? Will Killgrave actually change? Will Jessica fall for him or will she escape? Will her friends and loved ones come looking for her?</p><p>This is a Killgrave/Jessica ship. There will be graphically depicted Non-Con/Rape.</p><p>PLEASE NOTE: Killgrave is a walking trigger. Read at your own risk. Moral high grounders need not apply. If the summary sounds like something you won't like please, just don't read. This will save both of us a lot of pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Wish Come True

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave reviews! Good and bad. Doesn't matter but I prefer to know what my readers are thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated to show a proofread/edited version of my drivel :)

Jessica made her way out of the station wondering how the hell she had managed not to get shot on the way. She was dead set on getting Kilgrave, even if it killed her too. He deserved to die and she was the only one who could do it. As she ran, she came across Trish, who jumped in surprise. Jessica made hand gestures to tell Trish to keep her goddamn headphones on and keep her eyes on the ground. She didn't need Trish getting hurt in this; her part was over now. Jessica peeked around the corner to see a crowd of people all standing quite still. Obviously Kilgrave's coup de gras as he would say, his insurance in case she managed to not get shot.

  
"Unbelievable," he drawled as he watched Jessica make her way across the dock. Jessica knew at any moment he would set the group of people either against themselves or against her, though if she knew Kilgrave, she was pretty sure it was the former. They would have to take one for the team; she had to stop Kilgrave before he made it into the world to wreak more havoc. "Ready the yacht!" he demanded to the workers on the dock. Of course he was taking the yacht with a full crew. _‘He can't do anything for himself!’_ she thought to herself. “Start killing each other. Now," he snapped. Immediately the mass turned on each other. The sound of fists against flesh was almost sickening as they echoed across the dock.

  
Jessica had to get to Kilgrave, but she took hold of the first person near her and punched him, hoping one less person in the fight would help. She made her way through the group tossing and punching people who got in her way. She stopped to watch them, still shocked at the complete chaos he could create with just his words. She took in the mayham for a few moments until she saw Trish in the midst. _‘What the fuck is she doing here?!’_ Suddenly, a man came up behind Trish and hit her across the back, causing her headphones to fly off of her head. Trish needed to be saved, and the only way to do that was to stick with the plan. Jessica pushed through the violence, keeping eye contact with Kilgrave, hoping he could see the hate in her eyes. She watched as his look of uncertainty turned to anger with every step she took. Sneaking up on him had failed, she needed a new plan because she wouldn't get close enough to him like this. His face twisted in anger as he bared his teeth and yelled "STOP!"

 

Jessica made a split-second decision, this was the only way to get him close enough to her to snap his little neck like a twig. She stopped moving, feining slight shock as she glaced at her feet. All around the dock, silence fell, save for a few people weeping. "Don't insult my intelligence. You're faking, aren't you?" Kilgrave spoke, his voice holding some sort of hope, at least Jessica hoped that's what it was. _‘He has to believe this to get close,’_ she reasoned to herself. "Faking what?" she asked calmly. "Obviously you have a plan. Otherwise you'd have jumped over them all and I'd be dead so...do share," he replied, his anger showing through. "I wanted you to make them stop," she replied without thinking, and her throat constricted in fear. _‘Wait...no. Surely not! I'm just convincing him. I'll snap his neck the moment he's close enough,’_ she told herself. Jessica couldn't shake the feeling in the back of her head that something was wrong, though.

  
"Bollocks. Killing me would have accomplished that."  
"You've never died before," she replied truthfully.  
"Always a sodding hero, aren't you?" he said with a shake of his head.

  
"No," the answer clawed its way up her throat and out before she had a chance to even think. She could feel bile rising in her throat _‘No. It can't be,’_ she thought to herself, _‘I'm just luring him in.’_ Kilgrave's face lit up, a toothy smile spreading across his face. "Clever girl. Clever, clever girl. Pretending to give me what I want," he exhaled, obviously trying to rein in his excitement. "I'd hoped for it," he added as he took a few steps towards Jessica. "Oh god, it is so tempting to buy into this act," he said, placing his hands into his pockets. His eyes drifted over the group of people as he took in this information until he spotted Trish.

  
Turning back to Jessica, he spoke again, "I've been asking the impossible of you. I see that now. I wanted you to love me, but you've never loved anyone. You're not even capable of loving, with one exception. Come here, Patsy!" He held out his hand and watched as Jessica's best friend made her way to his side. Jessica felt the anger rise in her, seeing his hand touching Trish made her absolutely violent. She knew she had to stick with the plan; it was the only way to save Trish now. She watched on as Kilgrave stroked her hair and ran his fingers across her cheek. "You'd do anything to protect her, wouldn't you?" he asked pointedly at Jessica. She had the perfect come back, some snark to rile him up, but the only thing that came out was a calm "Yes.”

  
"You know, perhaps I choose the wrong sister," he said, looking at Trish "Hmm?" his gaze drifted to Jessica. "From your perspective, I'll be raping her every day. My skin will be touching hers." He stroked Trish's face slowly. "She'll be my plaything. She'll be my slave. And in her mind, she'll be dying. Isn't that right?" he asked.

  
"Yes," Jessica replied. Watching Kilgrave touch Trish was the hardest thing she had to endure, out of everything she had been through now, Trish was in this and it was all her fault. She had to be patient. Kilgrave would believe her soon. _‘It's for the greater good,’_ she told herself. She watched as he held hands with Trish, leading her to the boat. "We're leaving. If Patsy or I ever hear from you, or see you, see anyone who looks like you, she will slit her own throat. The ultimate contingency." He watched Jessica intently; when she stayed put, he turned to Trish and whispered "Kiss me. _Mean_ it." With that, Trish took hold of his face and kissed him passionately. Kilgrave enjoyed it for a few moments before tossing a glance at Jessica over Trish's shoulder.

  
Mid kiss, he pulled away, saying softly "My god, it's true, isn't it?" He took a few steps in Jessica's direction, a look of disbelief passing over his face. "You would let me take your beloved sister." He began a slow saunter over to her. "My god it's finally over. You're mine now. No more fighting. No more of these ugly displays. You're with me now." He stopped only a few short steps away from her. "After a while, no matter how long it takes. I know. I _know_ you will feel what I feel." Jessica couldn't help but feel itchy. She wanted to step forward and get this over with, but she stood still. "Let's start with a smile," he said, gazing at her. She felt her lips turn up in a smile without her permission, without her even processing his request. She could feel the bile rising in her throat again. _‘No,’_ she thought desperately. _‘This can't be.’_ Kilgrave's hands moved towards her face, hovering only inches away. Suddenly, he leaned in, his mouth nearly touching her ear. "Tell me you love me," he commanded softly. She tried to look away from him, to check on Trish, but her focus was on Kilgrave. She could feel the words rising in her throat. She didn't want to say it, but they tumbled out anyways "I love you," she said, her eyes locked with his. His joy was obvious; his toothy grin sent shivers down her spine. She was in trouble and she had known it from the moment she set foot on the dock. "Come Jessica," he said and outstretched his hand to her, waiting expectantly. Jessica's feet moved towards him, no matter how much she screamed in her head for them to stop. Her hand extended and took his, that stupid smile still spread across her face. He led her onto the yacht and turned to the people on the deck. "You may all go home. Tell no one we were here or what happened" he commanded and looked pointedly at Trish. The group of people slowly dispersed, some carrying the wounded.

  
Kilgrave turned to Jessica and smiled again, a true happy smile. "Jessica. I'm so glad you've come back to me. I promise things will be different," his hand slowly slid down her cheek. She flinched and pulled away, her gaze falling to the ground. "Look at me Jessica," Kilgrave growled. His smile was gone and a look of annoyance replaced it. "Do not pull away from me," he added in a deceivingly quiet tone. He obviously couldn't believe that she would react so horribly to his gentle touch. When Jessica didn't respond, he snapped "Do you understand me, Jessica?" Jessica nodded, but that wasn't enough for Kilgrave "Speak, Jessica," he demanded. "Yes," she replied. "Good! Now, follow me," he said and led her into the dining room. "Sit please, Jessica," he replied with a wave of his hand towards her seat. She sat, wondering if he knew that he was acting exactly the same. Nothing was different. He only wanted to control her. She found herself wishing she had been wounded in the gun fire. Anything would be better than this. She watched him talk to the yacht crew, straining to try and hear the conversation. Surely he was putting safeguards in place just as he always had. Jessica was surprised to find that he had seemingly dismissed the whole crew.

  
\-------------------

  
Kilgrave walked over to the table with two plates in hand. He placed one in front of Jessica and one in front of his own seat before grabbing a bottle of wine and sitting down. “Would you like some wine?” he asked. Jessica nodded and replied swiftly, “Thought you'd never ask,” and pushed her glass towards him. Kilgrave took her glass and filled it up with red wine. “This will be excellent if you let it breathe for a few minutes,” he said as he handed her the glass. A few second after pouring his own glass, he found Jessica's empty glass being placed in front of him to be refilled. He rolled his eyes and thought, _‘Jesus, she's going to drink until she kills herself. We're going to have to do something about that.’_ “Jessica,” he admonished “Really. Did you even taste it? This is the best wine money can buy! You could at least pretend to taste it,” he bit out the words, restraining an order to drink the wine like a civilized person.

  
Jessica shrugged and took her refilled glass, downing at least half of the liquid in one gulp. “Not like you paid for it, so you shouldn't be too upset,” she replied. Kilgrave sighed and reached for his own glass. “While that's true, but it's just the principle,” he replied. A smirk spread across his face as he took a drink of his own wine and began to eat the Chinese food on his plate. Jessica did always know what to say to needle him. “Now. I need to set some ground rules before we go any further. Look at me, Jessica, and give me your full attention,” his voice commanding once again. She looked up quickly, and he ventured on. “Soon we shouldn't need these rules, but for now it's best for everyone involved. You may not leave my side without my permission. You will not create a scene when we are in public. You will not harm me in any way. You may not contact anyone without my express permission. That includes Patsy.” He breathed a sigh of relief and nodded contentedly. “Now that that's over, you may go back to your dinner,” It pained him that such precautions were necessary, but he assured himself that they wouldn't be needed for long. Surely Jessica would see how much he loved her quickly and begin to get over her misplaced revenge ideas.

  
\-------------------

  
He watched her pick at her food and said, “Please eat, Jessica. It's better when it's warm.” Immediately, Jessica felt her hand pick up her chop sticks and begin to eat. She didn't want to eat; the food sat in her stomach like dead weight. She didn't like Chinese food, mostly because it reminded her of him. It reminded her of the past, the things he made her do. She felt a shiver run up her back and reached for her wine to try and squash her fear. She could no longer cower in a corner reciting those soothing words. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her break. With her glass emptied, she looked around the room, spotting the bar stocked with liquor. She stood, slightly surprised that her legs listened to her commands and swiftly made her way to the glass bottles. She picked up a tumbler and a bottle of Wild Turkey. She turned on her heel and made her way back to the table. She poured herself a hefty glass of amber liquid before downing the whole thing.

  
\-------------------

  
Kilgrave's eyebrows shot up in vague shock.“Do you drink like this all the time?” he asked. “Yeah I do,” she responded with more snark than she originally intended. His features twisted in annoyance as he spoke again. “Why do you drink like that?!” She locked eyes with him and snapped back, “To forget the things you forced me to do.” Kilgrave had heard about enough. He opened his mouth to make her stop drinking like a teenager who had stolen her parent’s liquor but he held it back. He had to prove to her that things were different. Even if it meant he let her drink to her heart’s content, for now at least. He watched her down three tumblers full of the offending liquid before he spoke again. “Is that helping, Jessica?” He couldn't hold back the anger in his voice. Jessica shot him a pointed look and downed another full tumbler. “No, but maybe if I stay drunk enough, I won't remember any of this,” she waved her hand in the general direction of Kilgrave “this nightmare.” Kilgrave winced slightly at her insinuation. _How does she not understand?! This was so painful. Love. Fools went looking for this kind of thing?_ He could feel the anger rising once again. He stood up, holding his hand out for her to take it, hoping he wouldn't have to command her to come with him. She glanced at his hand and shook her head. She then brought the whole bottle of liquor to her lips, drinking in gulps. Kilgrave had had enough. “JESSICA!” he roared,“Stop drinking. Stand up and smash that bottle of liquor immediately.”

  
\-------------------

  
Jessica felt her body lift to a standing position. She processed his words as she stood there. Smash the bottle? Oh she'd smash it. Right over his god damned head! She aimed at his forehead and chucked the heavy glass bottle right at him. Only at the last minute, his earlier words echoed in her head. “You will not harm me in any way,” they drifted around her. She groaned in annoyance as the bottle barely missed it's intended target. Lucky bastard had learned to cover his ass pretty well. She turned her attention from the mess on the wall behind Kilgrave to see his expression. To her gleeful surprise, he looked obviously shocked. At least she had gotten through to him. She didn't like being controlled. “Don't treat me like I'm unable to make my own decisions,” she spat at him and glared. His face turned from visible shock to unreadable calm. “Clearly you can't, Jessica, because if you keep drinking like that, you will die an early death. I don't know what I would do if you died”, he replied. Jessica was slightly taken aback. She had expected his anger, his commands. Instead he seemed…upset. Jessica was about to respond when Kilgrave sighed. “Jessica, bedroom now,” and pointed in the direction she was to go. Her feet took her to the room he had indicated. She was surprised by the size of the room; it was much larger than she had expected. Then her eyes fell on the bed. She turned to call out to Kilgrave to ask where he was sleeping but she found herself only inches away from him. His eyes ran down the length of her body and scraped back up, resting on her lips.

 

“Is there a problem?” he asked, raising one eyebrow. Jessica looked to the one bed in the room and then back to Kilgrave incredulously. “Where are you sleeping?” she asked. Kilgrave placed his hand on the small of her back and pushed her towards the bed. “I'm sleeping here, as are you. Now on the bed, Jessica.” She felt a pit in her stomach as she crawled onto the bed. “Please get ready for bed." He commanded and added quickly as he moved to his side of the bed "Get comfortable." Jessica felt the bed dip under her as she crawled on, still fully clothed. Get comfortable? _‘How could any of this be comfortable?’_ she thought to herself. She wanted to flip him off, tell him he could sleep on the floor but instead she just started removing layers of clothing. She felt the heat rise to her face as she removed her shoes, pants and shirt, all of which were dropped on the ground unceremoniously.

  
Jessica was thankful that after Kilgrave had disappeared she had stopped sleeping in the nude. Quickly, she darted to get under the covers but was halted by Kilgrave sitting on his side of the bed. His back was to her as he removed his shoes. He stood, beginning to remove his jacket but halted when he turned and caught sight of Jessica on the bed. Jessica felt dirty just having him leering at her. She pulled the covers back and grumbled when she heard him say “No, Jessica. Don't get under the covers just yet.” He removed his jacket and tie, placed them on a nearby chair and walked to the foot of the bed. “God how I missed you, Jessica. You are so beautiful, a vision!” He undid the top button of his dress shirt and crawled onto the bed. “God Jessica. You've lost so much weight. Tell me, what do you usually have for meals in a day?” Jessica looked at him as if he has grown two heads. “Usually a bottle of the cheapest and strongest liquor I can find.”  
A look of annoyance flitted across Kilgrave's face. "I should have come to get you sooner," he said soon after. "No matter. We're together again now. Tell me how much you missed me." Jessica answered without even thinking, "Not one bit." Kilgrave growled and moved closer to her, his voice full of hidden rage "You had to have missed me!" Jessica looked confused for a moment. _‘Did I miss him?’_ she thought to herself. _‘I had to have missed him.’_ Her head was starting to spin. Truth was mixing with Kilgrave's own verson. "Yes, I did miss you," she concluded out loud. He moved closer, his hand slowly working its way up her thigh. "Please tell me you want this. I need you to want this." Kilgrave's voice was soft, his eyes locked with hers. Jessica watched Kilgrave in a sort of detached way. She knew what was going to happen next. His lips found their way across from the bottom of her ear lobe, across her check, and to her own lips. She tensed, planning to fight back, when he pulled away, his lips finding her ear. "Relax, Jessica!" Kilgrave whispered, "You're going to enjoy this." Jessica felt her whole body relax, leaning in to the warm air escaping his mouth.

 

"That's a good girl," he hummed in appreciation as his hands worked their way to her bra. Kilgrave's hands played with her hardened nipples through the sheer fabric of her bra. Jessica groaned against Kilgrave's lips as one of his hands slowly found its way over her lace panties. He deftly moved his hand over her clit, enjoying the way she ground against his hand. A smile spread across his face as her hand moved of its own accord to his crotch, teasing him through his pants.

  
Kilgrave suddenly pulled away from their kiss and took her panties in his hands. He slipped them down her legs and a groan of appreciation left his throat as his eyes took in her beauty. "Spread your legs," he commanded. Jessica turned her face away as her legs followed his directions. Kilgrave crawled up the length of her body before kissing and sucking her exposed throat. "Don't be embarrassed," he whispered and watched as the flush left her face. "That's better. I don't want you to be ashamed of your body. It's simply magnificent" he said appreciatively. Jessica felt a sense of pride well up in her. She was magnificent.


	2. The Only Way I'm Leaving Is Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm sorry for this taking so long. My computer died a while ago and typing on my phone was basically unacceptable. I'm at the library so y'all better love me. Haha, I joke. Anyways, the song that's been inspiring me is 'State Of My Mind' by Shinedown. Please check it out! Seriously, I feel it really describes Jessica and Kilgrave's relationship perfectly.
> 
> Edited with proofread version

_"Oh, my eyes are seein’ red_  
_Double vision from the blood we’ve shed_  
_The only way I’m leavin’ is dead_  
_That’s the state of my, state of my, state of my head"_

 

Jessica's body would listen to Kilgrave, but in her head, she was examining his commands. She knew that she had a head start from those suckers who got caught in his web on the street. She had been in his possession before. She had survived, and she had spent months examining her time with him. Looking at how she could have defied him. Jessica knew she would have to fight tooth and nail. She was going to get out of this alive once again, and what was more, she was going to take Kilgrave down. "Stop", Jessica whispered. She wasn't even sure if Kilgrave had heard her at first. "I don't want you touching me, EVER!" her voice was rising in anger. "I'm not embarrassed. I just don't like the feeling of your grimy fingers on my skin!" she snapped. She then took a risk; she knew she wouldn't be able to do this again. Jessica bucked underneath him, sending him flying across the room.

 

A smirk spread across her face as she watched rage flit across his face. Kilgrave stood slowly; it was clear he was trying to restrain his rage. Jessica watched as veins slowly spidered their way across his face and neck. She could feel his displeasure in her rejection in the pit of her stomach. Still, she was pleased with herself, no matter what punishment he would give her. He stalked towards her, looking over her body no longer with lust but pure hatred. "You're such an ungrateful little pest, Jessica Jones. I did all of this for you. So we could be together. And still you fight me every way you can. Tell me the truth Jessica, why do you hate me so?" he snapped. She glared at him and her answer left her throat before she could even think. "You? You did this for US?! You haven't done anything for anyone but yourself since you were a child. You use people and then discard them like they're trash when really you're the only trash on this earth," she spewed her venom at him, he had asked for it and she obliged happily.

 

Jessica watched as his eyes widened and his breathing accelerated. "Jessica," he whispered before looking down at his own feet. She watched as a myriad of expressions flitted across his face before he turned on his heels. "Stay in this room. Don't leave until I come back," he said over his shoulder as he walked from the room. Jessica laid in the bed, her thoughts whirling around in her head. She had done it! She had stood up to Kilgrave even though he had control of her. She slipped under the covers and closed her eyes. She tried to sleep, but knowing that Kilgrave was going to come back was torture. Still she laid there, under the luxurious covers of the yacht that he had taken. She felt like a failure but knew that she had won a small victory, and it was all about small victories right now. She couldn't help but wonder, as she drifted off into a disturbed sleep, why he hadn't punished her. He used to make her jump as high as she could until the sun came up. Or he would have her punch a wall until he told her to stop. This time he had walked away without any attack or punishment, and it left her feeling uncertain.

\------------------------------------------------

Kilgrave made his way to the deck. He needed space away from Jessica or he would surely punish her for her impertinence. Couldn't she see that he was trying, _actually trying_ , instead of just taking what he wanted? God, if this was how most people lived their lives, he could see why there were so many suicides. He gazed at his bare feet for what seemed like forever before he sat down on a chair and looked off across the water. If Jessica had just come easily they would be sailing by now. Everything would be fine if Jessica just listened to him. Instead, she had to fight him. Make him prove over and over again that he did indeed love her. He hated that feeling. It made him itchy inside. Suddenly, he decided to get off this wretched boat and find something that would relax him. What he really wanted was Jessica's body on his, but she had made it abundantly clear that literally anything else would be better for her than that. He would not be accused of raping her again. He picked up a second set of shoes on deck and set off to find some unsuspecting prat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's short and I know that. I will be trying to do this every two days or so but we'll see. ;) Maybe I'll do a little more tonight. Depends on if my work and cooking dinner and morning sickness doesn't wipe me out first


	3. A Night Out On The Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After suffering rejection from Jessica mere moments from having an enjoyable time together Kilgrave heads out into downtown to let off some steam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being MIA. I'm around for now and trying to update as often as possible(I know, I know. You've heard it before so you'll believe it when you see it).
> 
> Edited for proofreading

_‘How could she say those things to me?!’_ Kilgrave thought to himself as he meandered through back alleys. _‘Can't she see I'm trying? How do 'normal' people do it?’_ he wondered to himself. Suddenly, the alleyway opened up into the bustling of downtown. It was quite late already and the bars were filled with masses of people. Even the thought of the sounds all those people would be creating made Kilgrave grind his teeth. He was slightly taken aback by his urge to continue on into the first pub he came across. He hadn't gotten much time to play with his new skills and he found himself wanting to test them out. His father promised he would be much stronger, and though he had toyed with people, he hadn't had any chance to actually give it a good go.

 

Kilgrave pulled the door open and was immediately assaulted by the loud thump of an indiscernible song. The writhing mass of intoxicated people on the dance floor was almost sickening to watch. _‘What are they trying to prove anyways?’_ he wondered as he wandered further into the crowded bar. First thing he had to do was get that sodding 'music' cut off. He made his way to the DJ, who was bobbing and weaving around his equipment, obviously enjoying the racket he was creating. "Turn off this horrid crap," he spoke calmly, but the DJ couldn't hear him. Kilgrave rolled his eyes and grumbled to himself as he ripped the headphones off the DJ's head and repeated himself, this time much louder, "TURN OFF THIS SHITE!" The DJ looked shocked but reached down and turned the music off completely. The people all groaned in unison and turned to look at the DJ's booth. Some shouted insults while others whispered to people near them. Kilgrave enjoyed the first few moments of confusion before he took hold of the microphone and began speaking. "Everyone, shut up." He watched as the people fell silent and he released a sighed. Thank goodness that racket was over for now; he'd be making his own sweet music soon enough. "Alright. Those with partners or lovers, line up on this side of the dance floor. Everyone single, move to this side." He waited while the people filtered to their designated places.

 

"Good. Now those who have their lover here, pair up," he commanded as he took the microphone and made his way among the crowd. To his delight, there was a man who apparently had two lovers who didn't know about each other. The two women were beginning to make a scene as Kilgrave approached. "What's going on here?" he asked the man, who looked nervously towards the women but answered anyways "I. Um. I have two girlfriends" Kilgrave looked towards the two women, who were almost in a physical fight. "You two. Stop it immediately!" he growled and then turned back to the man "And you love both of these women?" he asked.

 

The man looked embarrassed again and replied, "No." Kilgrave's eyebrows raised. "I'm intrigued. Why would you be with two women if you didn't love both of them? Explain it to me." There was a silence for a few moments before the man spoke again. "You see, I don't have a job or money, so I live with my girlfriend of five years. She's nice and all, but I can't really stand her. She pays for rent and buys my food, so I stick around. My other girlfriend looooves sex. She'll suck you until you..." he stopped and cleared his throat. "We have killer sex," he concluded. "And this second woman. You love _her_?" Kilgrave asked. "Not really. She just gives really good head," he answered. Both women gasped audibly and glared at the man. "Johnny, is that true?!" one of the women asked. Johnny turned to the girls and spoke in a soothing tone of voice, "Of course not baby! You know I...". "Come now, Johnny. Don't lie. Tell the woman the truth," Kilgrave interrupted him, trying to reign in his temper. "Yeah, Beatrice. It's true. The sound of your voice makes me want to claw my own eyes out. The only reason I haven't dumped you on your ass is that I need somewhere to live." His tone was much more harsh now. "There now, Johnny. Doesn't that feel better?" Kilgrave asked.

 

"Now ladies, how does this make you feel?" The women looked simply murderous. "I'm so angry I could kill him," one answered. Kilgrave smirked. "Good. Do it. Both of you, rip him to shreds. Give him what he deserves," he replied simply, turning away from the trio. "Is this really what love is? Why would anyone want this?!" he asked out loud. "Anyone? Anyone care to explain it to me?" The crowd was deathly quiet as the sounds of the women attacking the man rose. His pained screams were only topped by the women's curses and the sound of dismemberment. "No? Does no one believe in love here? Huh. I'm not surprised! It sounds horrible."

Movement cause Kilgrave's eye, a woman stepped forward. "No, you're wrong. Love is amazing!" she snapped in annoyance. The man behind her tried to pull her back. "Serena, no!" The man whispered. Kilgrave locked eyes with the woman who had the guts to defend such a horrible piece of human emotion. "So Serena, explain it to me then. Why do people let themselves fall into such a trap?" he asked, taking a few steps towards her. The man behind Serena took hold of her hand and pulled her to his side. Serena smiled at the man before turning her attention to Kilgrave. "Love is when you would do anything for the other person. Sure, you have your ups and downs, but you always end up together. You're there to help them feel happy when they're sad, and you're there to help lick their wounds when they've been hurt. Love is a sacred thing!" she said with a nod of her head. The man at her side slipped an arm around her waist, and she seemed to shine as it did. Kilgrave turned his attention to the man. "And you agree with this...this nonsense?!" he asked incredulously. The man looked down to Serena and replied, "Yes. I would do anything for Serena."

 

Kilgrave looked at the two for a few moments. "And neither of you have lied to the other?" The two replied at the same time, "Yes we have," and Serena added, "But it's when you admit you've done wrong and apologize. That's how you show your love for the other." Kilgrave rolled his eyes and looked at the two for a few moments before turning to address the whole group. "Who here believes in love? Raise your hand," he ordered and was shocked to see that over three quarters of the bar still said they believed. "This is bollocks. You all bore me. Fight until there is only one survivor. Go now!" he growled into the microphone and made his way to the door. He stopped to turn and watch the chaos a few moments. _‘How could they still believe in love after so many get hurt? And what was that nonsense about apologizing? Honestly. This whole thing is shite,’_ he thought to himself as he watched the mass clash against each other. Some had picked up beer bottles and smashed them to create weapons while others simply used their fists to beat those closest.

 

This was all people were good at; look how beautifully they all looked as they fought. The will to live was an amazing sight. He took in a deep breath and watched as the first few fell, blood already coating the dance floor. How amazing the survivor would feel! To know that they were the strongest in the whole bar and lived through this means that they were one to be feared. They would know their true potential. Kilgrave smirked to himself as he left the bar. What a gift he had given that winner. He began to feel better and was ready to face Jessica. He was going to apologize. He wasn't sure exactly how to do that, but he'd attempt it, to prove to Jessica that he really loved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay writing with two small children around is basically impossible. It's a wonder I'm still sane. Wait. Maybe I'm not...


	4. How Did I Let Myself Get Into This Mess Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a mention of the date not changing on my chapters I think I figured it out. Hopefully everyone that's bookmarked my stuff will be getting updates now.
> 
> WHAT'S THIS?! TWO CHAPTERS IN AS MANY DAYS?! Haha yeah, I've had a little extra time(yeah right, the kids have been hellions but I had the itch). Hopefully you like this chapter.

Jessica sighed. She had no idea how long it had been since Kilgrave had left her in this room. _Stay in this room until I come back_ the words drifted back to her every time she neared the door. She stood at the doorway for a while, one hand on either side of the frame daring her legs to take her command. "God! Why can't I just leave?! I need to check on Trish but I'm not _allowed_ to call anyone" she said mockingly to herself. She screamed and picked up a pillow and threw it as hard as she could out of the room. Sleeping had been a bust so she had decided on pacing the room like a caged tiger, testing her boundaries and attempting escape even though she knew it was pointless. The alcohol from 'dinner' had worn off and she was painfully aware of her own uncertainty and fear. She hated feeling out of control and this was the epitome of out of control. What was worse was that she knew that she had upset Kilgrave. She assumed he would just punish her but when he didn't she knew innocent people would suffer...all because of her. All because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. "Fuck! Kilgrave I'll rip your head off your body the next time I see you!" she screamed from the doorway hoping he would hear her but knowing her anger would fall on deaf ears. _Come to think of it, even if Kilgrave were here he still wouldn't hear me. He wouldn't understand my sincerity._

 

With a deep breath she sat on the bed and stared at her hands folded in her lap. The sky blue comforter underneath her matched perfectly with her matching black panties and bra. She laid back, her hair sprawling messily as she hit the mattress. She closed her eyes for a few moments. She secretly she would open her eyes and she'd be in her apartment with Trish taking care of her. Or Luke. She laughed softly. _There's no way he cares even one iota for me anymore. Not that I don't deserve it but I wish things were different_ she thought to herself. Slowly she slipped into sleep, half hanging off the bed in her underwear. Her breathing slowed to an easy rhythm and her mouth fell open slightly.

\----------------------------

 

Kilgrave hailed a cab and hitched a ride back to the docks. "This ride will be free, of course." he said as he opened the door "Oh and don't tell anyone about this" he added over his shoulder as he shut the door. He stood staring at the yacht for a few moments before slowly making his way to it. He wondered what Jessica was doing and if this was a dream. As his feet hit the deck he was feeling uncertain. What was he even going to say to Jessica? Would she listen even if he poured his heart out? _Probably not_ he thought to himself with a roll of his eyes. He couldn't help but wonder how long his powers would work on her but relaxed when he saw the captain sitting in a chair with a knife. He was alive so it would seem that Jessica was either under his control or staying to save his life. "The night was uneventful I presume?" Kilgrave addressed the captain who looked quite relieved. "Yes, that's right. Lots of yelling but she never left the room." the captain replied. "Good, then prepare the yacht. We'll be leaving shortly" Kilgrave commanded. A smile spread across his face as he watched the captain throw the knife overboard and make his way to follow the command Kilgrave had given. Kilgrave made his way, slowly and carefully, to the bedroom. It was just past midnight so he wondered if she were still awake or if she had managed to sleep. She had always had troubles sleeping. He took a deep breath and strolled into the bedroom with the smile still spread across his face. It widened imperceptibly as he caught sight of Jessica sprawled across the bed. Her legs spread and hanging off the bed. He admired her beautiful dark hair against her alabaster skin. He moved to the chair next to his side of the bed and removed his clothing from it so that he could sit in it. He watched her soft, slow breathing for a while before he slowly slipped into sleep.

\----------------------------

Jessica woke with a start. She was uncomfortable and unsure of where she was. She did a mental checklist of her limbs before she sat up. Confused she scanned the room. "Right" she said softly to herself "I'm still on that wretched yacht waiting for that asshole" She rubbed her head softly as she stood up to find her jeans. Suddenly she caught sight of Kilgrave. He was slumped in the chair near the bed, shirt had the top two buttons unbuttoned. His chest rose and fell slowly as he slept. Jessica was confused. Usually Kilgrave would wake Jessica up after a night of terrorizing innocent people. He would take what he wanted from her and then sleep like a baby. This time he came back and didn't bother her. In fact it would seem he went out of his way to not bother her. He was sleeping in a chair for fuck's sake! Quickly she was snapped out of her revere when Kilgrave began to stir. Jessica made a mad dash for her pants and was just pulling them on as Kilgrave's eyes fluttered open. She was just doing up the button of her jeans and reaching for her shirt when Kilgrave caught sight of her. "No. Leave the shirt off" he said groggily as he sat up and stretched. He adjusted his pants subtly as he looked up to Jessica once more. "How was your night?" she asked with and arched brow. Kilgrave shrugged and stood up "It was alright, I suppose. I apologize for leaving you here alone and on our first night together too. I was very upset with what you said Jessica and needed a little time to let a little steam off." he shrugged as he made his way toward Jessica.

 

She took a few steps back and found her back against the wall. Her breathing accelerated as he neared her. "Why. Why did you sleep in the chair?" she asked hoping to distract him. "Well" he began, slowly closing in on her "I came back and you were sleeping so soundly. You were also sprawled across most of the bed." He shrugged again and placed his hand on the wall behind Jessica, blocking her only escape. "You are a vision, Jessica" he whispered softly in her ear as his free hand ran slowly up her exposed stomach to the cup of her bra. Kilgrave's nose ran up the length of her neck as his his hand skirted around Jessica's hardening nipple. Slowly tugging and elongating it as he kissed his way across her jaw line. Jessica could feel bile rising in her throat but all she could think of was the innocent people who must have suffered the night before. If she could just deal with his hands on her maybe innocent people wouldn't get hurt. She clinched her eyes shut and tried to block everything out. "Touch me, Jessica. God I need to feel your hands on me finally" he whispered as his hands moved towards the buttons on her pants. His breathing accelerated as he slipped his hands into Jessica's pants. Jessica withheld a groan of annoyance as her hands moved of their own accord. She slowly opened the buttons on his shirt, revealing his slim chest. Her hands explored his chest as his fingers slipped over her clit. She gasped and leaned her head against the wall as her body reacted to his touch. She didn't _want_ to enjoy his touch but damn him he knew she liked. One of her hands slipped down to Kilgrave's pants, passing over the erection hidden inside. He hummed in appreciation and whispered "Enjoy this, Jessica. I need you to enjoy this" slowly he knelt as he pulled her pants off her hips and down her legs leaving her in her panties again. She could feel his words wrapping around her. Squeezing her own sense of will out of her and replacing them with a false sense of enjoyment. It was hollow but it was her sole purpose now. She was going to enjoy this.

 

Suddenly there was knock at the door. The captain was standing just out of sight and said "We're all ready, sir. Let us know when and where you want us to go" Kilgrave growled in annoyance and turned towards the doorway. "Do you _really_ need me right now?!" he all but yelled. "Unfortunately, yes we do sir." the captain replied softly, obviously afraid of the outcome of his interrupting. Kilgrave rested his forehead on Jessica's stomach. After a few moments he stood up, blew out a breath, and began re-buttoning his shirt. "Jessica, darling. You can roam about the ship but you may not, under any circumstances leave the ship without my express consent." Kilgrave needed to know that she would be safe, and jumping into the water wouldn't do. He then made his way out of the room to find the captain. "We'll talk later but I'm anxious to get this trip underway. Let's go" he added over his shoulder, already padding off. Jessica crumpled onto the floor, her pants still around her ankles. Tears stabbed at her eyes as she pulled her knees to her chest. She had to find a way to fight his powers. It had happened before, so why couldn't she do it now? After fighting back her tears she stood up, pulled her pants back on, and yanked her shirt over her head. If she was stuck on this boat she was damn well going to know every nook and cranny.


	5. Explorers of the uncharted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A wild chapter has appeared!

Jessica padded along the deck, her bare feet making no noise as she explored. This ship was her new home and she needed to know it well. She had a short list of things she wanted to find.

 

1\. Alcohol-preferably strong and in large quantities

2\. Another bedroom or place to sleep

3\. Any possible hiding spots

 

Jessica was pleased to find that the alcohol she had found last night was only the tip of the iceburg. There was another bar up top that was even better stocked, and with the good stuff! She currently held a bottle of The McCallen 1824 Series M single malt Scotch. She held the artistic glass bottle in her hands and laughed solemnly to herself. This may be some fine alcohol on an even more amazing yacht but she would give anything to be back in her rat bag apartment, drinking the cheapest liquor she could find, and telling her best friend. No. Sister. Telling her sister that she didn't need to live in a nice building with protections and security guards. Jesus, she even missed the way the emergency vehicles would fly past her windows at all hours of the night causing a rucus. Jessica sighed and flopped into a recliner that was nicer than the furniture at her house and took a huge swig straight from the bottle. The unfortunate thing about drinking as much as she did meant that it took a lot to get her wasted and that's what she wanted right now. Complete drunkenness. She wasn't in control always so why worry? Killgrave wouldn't allow her to come to harm. With that chilling thought she brought the bottle to her lips again and drank until she had to come up for air. She leaned back into the recliner and grimaced as something dug into her lower back.  _My phone!_ she thought to herself  _Maybe he doesn't know I have it._

 

With this new discovery she checked the surrounding area. No one was nearby, so she unlocked the phone and found Trish's number and drafted a text. **'I'm alive. Don't worry, I'll get out soon'** her finger hovered over the send button but she couldn't press it. " _Don't contact anyone"_ Killgrave's words floated around her head, restricting her finger from following the orders Jessica was giving it. "Fuck!" She exclaimed in exasperation. Quickly she deleted the drafted message and stared at her phone. There had to be a way to get a message to Trish. Suddenly it came to her. Trish had a fan site, one her controlling bitch of a mother had set up ages ago. It had a place for all the creeps to leave messages for Trish to read. Quickly she typed in the URL and went to make a comment. First she had to make a username for her account. **Sisters4Life**. Then the message.

 

Omg Patsy, I've loved your show since the beginning. I think you're a great woman and turned out amazing through all your struggles. I'm struggling right now, too but I know with your example I'll make it through.

-Jewel

 

Jessica's finger hovered over the post button for only a moment before posting it. She wasn't even sure if Trish read that stupid website any more but hopefully it was enough, hopefully she would see the post and not worry as much. With that Jessica cleaned the browser history and placed the phone back where she had found it. She was drinking deeply from the ornate bottle when Killgrave showed up. "I see you've been exploring. It's a lovely ship, isn't it? Only the best for you" he said jovially. Jessica held the bottle up in a mock toast "And it only cost two innocent men their lives" she remarked before placing the bottle to her lips again. Killgrave sucked in a deep breath before sitting on the same chair as Jessica. He eyed the bottle of liquor before saying "Where would you like to go? Anywhere. I'll be happy to escort you around the world."

 

Jessica thought for only a moment before replying "Take me home." She held her breath, her honesty usually sent him over the edge quickly. He could never handle her honestly. He took a deep breath again and replied "Sorry, love. Can't do that just yet. If you don't have a particular destination in mind I will simply choose for the both of us" Jessica gritted her teeth. She wanted to lash out at him but she decided to turn to her trusty bottle of liquor instead, besides that seemed to piss him off just as well as anything she could say. She chugged a large quantity before looking Killgrave straight in the eye. "It doesn't matter where you take me. I'll always hate you" she said defiantly. Killgrave shot up into a standing position,  veins spidering up his neck. His tongue traveled across his upper teeth as he silently seethed with anger. "Jessica Jones. I've been more than understanding with your outbursts." He spoke softly "However you will not ever say that to me again" Jessica was suddenly on her feet. "Or what?" she demanded emboldened by the amount of liquor pounding through her system "What are you going to do? You know I'm stronger than you and once I find a way to beat this..thing you have over me you'll regret you ever came back for me". Jessica was only inches away from him now, her anger controlling her. She reached out to grab his shirt and shake him but she recoiled. Sure couldn't hurt him and by the looks of his face he was going to explode any second. With a last look of defiance she took a large swig and turned to walk away from Killgrave. 

 

Unfortunately for her his voice reached out to her "Stop" he growled "Turn around slowly and drop the bottle of liquor on the ground". Her body followed his orders and she found herself face to face with the angriest Killgrave she had ever seen. A sense of dread washed over her. She had never fought back. She wondered why Killgrave was allowing her such freedom. Usually he commanded every minut detail so she had no freedom, no slack with which to pull back on the leash he held on her. Slowly he walked towards her, the closer he got, the angrier it seemed he got. He stopped only a foot away from her. He glowered down at her "If you ever threaten me again you  _will_ regret it. That I promise you." Slowly he began walking a circle around her, his hands curled into tight fists, his knuckles white. He stopped behind her and leaned in close. When he spoke his lips were only an inch away from her ear, his hot breath caressing her neck "Go to our room. It appears I have given you too much freedom, too quickly. You will learn to respect me over time. Whether you ever love me or not, you will be with me forever. And that's a promise. Go straight to our bedroom. When you get in there take off your shirt and pants and sit on the bed. Wait for me there."

 

Jessica gritted her teeth as her feet carried her across the deck. She had pushed too hard and now she was going to get the brunt of the storm. Still, it was better than innocent people taking the fallout. Or at least that's what she tried to tell herself as dread welled up inside her. Her feet padded along the deck softly, the sound of the water lapping against the boat told her they were moving. She was stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean with the world's most unpredictable man, and she just royally pissed him off. Her breathing grew more shallow as she decended the steps and made her way through the dining room. Quickly she reached out and grabbed the only bottle of alcohol she could touch as she passed the bar and cradled it close to her body as she entered the room. She placed the bottle on the bed as if it were her child and quickly stripped out of her shirt and pants. She opened the bottle and drank what was left of it, only about half a bottle of vodka, and wished it had been full. She stashed the bottle under the bed and sat on the edge of the bed. Silence fell and the sound of Jessica's own heart beating was deafening. Suddenly she heard footsteps. Had he followed right behind her? Her question was answered quickly as Killgrave body filled the gap of the door frame. He stalked into the room and glared at her for a few moments before speaking. "Normally I would have you skip dinner but you've clearly not been taking care of yourself so I'll have to make sure you're healthy and eating well before that's an option again. Let me make this  _perfectly_ clear. You're mine. You will always be mine. If you become violent towards me I will take full control of you. If you can't make decisions that are intelligent, I will make them for you. I can make you do whatever I want. Don't forget that. I allow you freedom because I want you to understand that I love you. Don't you get that, Jessica?" Killgrave's voice wavered in anger as he spoke. He turned his back and growled "How else can I show you that I fucking love you?!" With that his fist met with the wall, causing Jessica to jump in surprise. She had never seen him like this, certainly had never seen him angry enough to get physical. In fact she had assumed that Killgrave was incapable of violence and that's why he needed her, however the hole in the wall suggested otherwise.

 

Killgrave turned and faced Jessica, he was seething with anger as he slowly stalked towards her. "No more waiting. I need you so badly I can't think of anything else." His words sent chills up her spine.  _NO!_ she screamed in her head  _Please, no._ but the words wouldn't come out. She was paralyzed with fear. This was her worst nightmare, realised. He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair. Jessica made a move to turn her face away but was stopped in her tracks "No. Don't defy me. I need this and so do you" he spoke forcefully. "No. I don't" she said softly. Even as she said the words she wasn't sure if she meant them. Didn't she need this too? Killgrave had told her she did, but something about it seemed wrong. Empty. Foreign. Killgrave moved towards her and slowly pushed her back, so she was laying against the bed. He took a few moments to enjoy his view before crawling on top of her and settling himself above her. Killgrave's lips brushed gently against Jessica's as his hand wandered freely up and down her body. Jessica tensed, she didn't want this. She opened her mouth to protest but Killgrave moved quickly, his tongue swirled with hers. She tried to bite it but couldn't hurt him. Yet again his words constricted her, keeping her from inflicting any harm on him. _What a pity_ she thought to herself in an attempt to distract herself from what was happening.

 

Killgrave continued his assault on her body. His hands were working her breasts through the sheer fabric of her bra. A slight moan escaped her lips. He knew what she liked and he was using it against her. Willed her body to stop reacting, begged the heat pooling at the junction between her thighs to stop but it was out of her control. She couldn't fight back. She couldn't stop her body from betraying her. Suddenly Jessica felt as if she were choking. "No" a strangled voice came "Please, God. Please don't do this. I'm sorry" vaguely aware that it was her own voice pleading she watched through swimming vision as Killgrave turned his gaze upwards to Jessica's face. A slow, lazy smile spread across his face. "Oh no, love. You're not sorry yet but you will be but let's not think about that right now. Right now I need to be inside you." he replied. He licked his lips and maintained eye contact while he licked and sucked her right nipple. He played with her left nipple with his fingers until both little buds stood at attention. Then he leaned back, each of his knees of either side of her hips. His pants barely contained his erection as he greedily stared at Jessica's body. She turned her head to break eye contact but heard Killgrave's voice immediately bark "No! Look at me." Jessica's head snapped to attention and met his gaze again. Her eyes were watery and once again she pleaded "Please. Don't." Killgrave stroked her face gently. "Shhhhh" he soothed "You're going to enjoy this. Relax and don't fight it". Immediately Jessica welcomed the feeling of heat pooling, her sex wet with desire. Her eyes burned with lust. She was going to enjoy this. Or was she? Before Jessica had time to think about what was going on in her head she felt Killgrave's hands on her inner thighs, pushing them wide to make room for him. "God how I've missed your sweet pussy" he spoke, his mouth at her core. One stroke of his tongue and she was gripping the sheets and writhing underneath his strong grip. Killgrave held onto Jessica's undulating hips as he continued to lick and suck at the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs. Soon she was quivering, teetering on the edge of orgasm. Jessica fought it with all her might. She didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing her come undone. Killgrave looked up at Jessica and sent her over the edge with a flick of his tongue. She groaned in pleasure as she climaxed, grinding her hips against his skilled tongue. He held her hips as steady as he could, lowering her from her orgasm slowly and gently. Slowly he crawled his way up her naked body until his full weight was on top of her. He ground his still clothed erection against her core. "My God you taste delicious" he whispered in her ear "Even better than I remember". 

 

Then he sat up and said "Undress me, Jessica". Immediately she was sitting up and tearing at the buttons of his shirt and pushing it off of his shoulders. She made quick work of his belt and unbuttoned his pants. Jessica's hand reached into Killgrave's pants and stroked his throbbing erection. Killgrave sucked in air and groaned. "Lay back" he demanded and made quick work of removing his pants and boxers. His weight was on her again, his hard cock probing at her entrance. Jessica writhed underneath him, pushing her hips upwards begging for his cock inside of her. "Beg, Jessica. Tell me you want it" he snarled as he readied himself at her soggy core. Jessica tried to bite back the words, swallow them like a poison but she couldn't. "Please Killgrave. Please fuck me. I need you inside of me" she groaned. With that Killgrave thrust into her. His cock twitching inside of her as he took a few deep breaths. "Oh god, yes Jessica. I've dreamed this day would come" he said, his voice heavy with desire "I'm going to fuck you until we're both worn out". With that he set a steady rhythm. Jessica groaned, her own hips meeting Killgrave's. Matching his fervor and speed. "Oh god, Killgrave. Fuck me hard" she groaned and dug her fingernails into his back. Killgrave moaned and quickened his pace. "Jessica, hands on the bed. Either side of your head" he demanded when her nails pierced his skin. When she did as he commanded he placed his hands on her wrists, put his whole weight on them and leaned his head down to  whisper into Jessica's ear. "You're mine. You'll always be mine" and with that he quickened his pace. She could feel him nearing orgasm. She knew he would cum any moment and to her surprise Killgrave growled "Come, Jessica!" as he drove into her one. They both exploded at the same time. Killgrave emptied himself into her and groaned in pleasure as Jessica's own orgasm milked him dry.

Killgrave stayed on top of her, his whole weight pushing her into the mattress as they caught their breath. Gently Killgrave pulled out of Jessica and helped her under the sheets. "Sleep, Jessica." He said softly as he stroked her hair and pulled her close. Jessica could feel her conciseness slipping away, and with it her freedom. As the world went black all she could hear was the sounds of the water against the ship and Killgrave ragged breaths. She knew she was going to be in trouble when she woke. There was no way she would get away with pushing him as hard as she did with just a little sex.


	6. Doing The Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've recently been sparked, so I'm going for another chapter again. This one may end up being fairly short but you're gonna take what I have and you're gonna like it. Got it?
> 
> But really, thanks for reading :)

Killgrave watched Jessica slip into unconsciousness and sighed with contentment as he was finally sated. After Jessica had left, Killgrave had tried to find someone else but no one could satisfy him like she could. He shook his head at the thought of what had caused their love making. _God, this should have been more special_ he thought to himself. Angry sex was good and all but it was not how he wanted their first fling back together to happen. He should have controlled himself better, no matter though. What was done was done. He sighed and shook his head. He needed to show her that while he was willing to be lenient, outright displays of aggression wouldn't go unchecked. He couldn't allow her to even think about getting physical with him. Killgrave knew she could destroy him easily and even though he loved her, he knew that she could fall out from under his control. It had happened before and he would be damned if it happened again. He needed to get someone like her, someone who could over power her if she suddenly went rogue, but enough of that for now. How would he punish Jessica?

 

Usually Killgrave enjoyed punishing prats. He had always enjoyed the imaginative part of punishment but with Jessica it was different. He usually cared not for the people that he punished but with Jessica he was at a loss for ideas. He could make her jump, he had done that a thousand times. Perhaps she could swim laps around the boat. He imagined her emerging from the water dripping wet, her shirt clinging to her figure. He adjusted the erection in his pants and smirked to himself. No, that would allow her off of the boat and if she were to regain control she could leave him. No, it would have to be on the boat for now, what a pity. Killgrave growled to himself as he stood up and found a pair of silk pajama pants to slip on. He knew Jessica would sleep for at least four hours, that's how it usually went before she left him. Jessica would sleep soundly for at least four hours, then the nightmares would start. She would wake soon after. He used to hold her after. Soothe her from the nightmares that plagued her. Killgrave wondered how she dealt with them on her own. Did she lay awake at night? The bags under her eyes suggested that was probably more likely than he wanted to admit. He shook his head, he had to focus. How would he punish the woman that he loved? With a heavy sigh Killgrave made his way to the lounge chair where this all started. He sat back, his feet bare feet up and wiggling in the air that blew softly across the deck of the ship. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, contemplating what Jessica's punishment would be.

 

\----------------

 

Jessica tossed and turned, it was a familiar dream for her. She was sitting in the back of her family's car. The argument never changed and neither did her desire to say something different but everything went on just as it always had. Then the crash. It happened in slow motion and often with her witnessing it from outside where she could see the faces of all her family members as they died. She reached out for them, calling out though she made no noise. Suddenly she was sitting up in bed. She was drenched in sweat and she was disoriented. Where was she? No, it didn't matter. She needed alcohol. She stood up and realized she was completely naked. "What the fu-" she began but it all came back, like hitting a brick wall. _Shit_ she thought _I definitely need alcohol now_. She grabbed her pants and shirt and threw them on quickly before she headed out of the room. As she made her way to the bar the memories of the sex with Killgrave flooded back to her. She felt herself sinking to the floor behind the bar, cradling a bottle of hard liquor. She rocked back and forth and thought of reciting the soothing words that quack doctor had suggested she use, but when she did she was reminded of the fucked up museum Killgrave had created of her childhood home. No, not even her street name held soothing properties anymore. All of her past was a clusterfuck. The panic rose in her throat and tried to escape as a scream but she stifled it. It wove around her like a Python, suffocating her. Tears threatened to fall as she spun deeper into her panic attack. She had to get moving, or the fear would paralyze her. She stood up, unscrewed the bottle cap, and walked up the stairs. Soon she was standing in the sunshine but felt no warmth. The fear she felt was still suffocating, so she held the bottle to her lips until she was gasping for air. If only she could drink her way out of this. Never be concious. That wasn't good enough, though. Killgrave would still be there.

 

She walked to the edge of the boat and watched the water rush by. The deep blue water did nothing to calm her fears. The boat was carrying her away from her sister and away from Luke. Carrying her to a place of hell where only Killgrave was a constant. She gulped more of the burning liquid down and wiped her lips with her forearm. Her body ached, the sex with Killgrave always ended like this. She wasn't sure why. He was never particularly strong and he always commanded her to relax. Perhaps it was because she was mentally fighting it, well when she could. Another swig and she was starting to gain control of get wayward emotions. She turned to walk back to the bar and saw Killgrave lounging, watching her with leering eyes. "What?" She spat the words as she downed more of the burning liquid. 

Killgrave shrugged and replied "Just enjoying the view" and smirked at his own little joke. Jessica sneered and attempted to duck back under deck when she heard Killgrave call "Wait, Jessica. Come back. I need to talk to you" She sighed and rolled her eyes as her feet betrayed her and took her back to Killgrave. "What?" she asked again. Killgrave sighed and sat up, looking down at his feet before he carried on "Jessica, I don't appreciate the way you treated me a few hours ago. You can't lose control of your emotions like that. You were rude and physically threatening. It's really not polite. I thought you had better manners." He looked up at Jessica, obviously expecting an answer. Jessica took another deep drink of the alcohol, shrugged, and replied as nonchalantly as she could "Some people don't deserve manners". The look in Killgrave's eyes was somewhere between disappointment and anger. "I was really hoping you would apologize. I won't force you to apologize but I will have to punish you." He spoke and stood up, placing his hands in his pant pockets. 

 

Jessica was shocked, her mouth hung slack for a few seconds before she said incredulously "What? The sex wasn't punishment enough? Being raped isn't enough punishment?!". Now it was Killgrave's time to be shocked "Wha...What?!" He exclaimed "Come now, Jessica. Are you seriously telling me you did not enjoy our making love? I recall you having a few orgasms of your own, darling". Killgrave's eyes glinted with lust as he scraped his gaze down her body and ran his tongue across his lower lip, as if he could still taste her on his lips. "That's what I'm saying. Having sex without my consent is rape. You're a rapist, Killgrave. I doubt you've ever had real consent in your whole life. You've always been a sick rapist bastard and you always will be. No one would readily consent to having sex with the likes of you!" Jessica spat her angry words at him, a snarl adorning her face. "Enough! Stop. Talking. Jessica." He bit out the words through clenched teeth, reigning in his temper. "We're dropping anchor here." He snapped his fingers and the Capitan came over "Stop the engines. Jessica is going to drop the anchor for us." The captain scurried away as fast as his feet could carry him. Soon the sound of the engines ceased and Killgrave gestured to the anchor. "Please anchor us, Jessica". 

 

Jessica rolled her eyes "They have machines for that, you know." She said she brought the liquor to her lips again. Killgrave growled and snapped "Jessica! Drop the alcohol and. Put. The. Anchor. Down." The heavy thud of the alcohol rung in Jessica's ears as she felt herself cross the deck, nearing the anchor. Once she had the chain in her grasp she felt the safety unlock and it was heavy in her hands. She grunted, trying to slowly allow the anchor into the water without losing control of it. She regulated her breathing and struggled to maintain a steady speed, but the chain slipped and caught her finger, threatening to pull her off the ship. Jessica tried to stifle the fear that rose up in her as she neared the edge of the boat. She couldn't leave the boat, Killgrave had told her so. She groaned again she leaned back and used all her might to slow the chain. It ripped into her hands and she cried out in pain but she continued to lower the anchor as instructed. When Jessica was finished she sighed and groaned, looking down at her wounded and bloodied hands. She glared up at Killgrave who was looking very impressed. "All done, darling" she said, the last word dripping with venom and hatred. Still Killgrave's face lit up, clearly not the effect Jessica was hoping it would have. "Now for the second part of your punishment, though you should be thanking me for it because I'm saving you from an early grave. I want you to take all of the alcohol on the bars and dump it overboard. Open each bottle and pour it into the ocean." He said with a sick smile spread across his face. He had finally found something that would actually hurt her, and he was relishing in the reaction she was having.

"What?! Are you serious?!" Jessica replied "Yes. All the alcohol on the bars. Go now, and empty them into the ocean." He reiterated. When she stood still he added "Now, Jessica!". Jessica's body followed the orders, taking her to the bottom bar first. She began collecting bottles in a trash bag and tried to analyze his order. No way she could live with Killgrave completely sober. _All the alcohol **on** the bar_ , she thought. So any she found not on the bar would be hers to hide. The heavy clunk of the bottles being set in top of each other was the only thing Jessica could hear, besides the pounding of her heart. Her hands left bloody handprints across the bar and bottles. Once she was done collecting all the bottles she had to dump she took the four precious bottles that had not been on the bar and hid them in a nearby under seat storage area, placing other items on top of them. She was careful to carry them with a towel so her handprints didn't give her away. She hauled the trash bags full of her precious alcohol up top and slowly, painfully opened each container and dumped it into the ocean. She then made her way to the other bar and could feel herself slipping away. Her coping mechanism was being taken away from her, the only thing left was to disconnect herself from her feelings, to be numb. Once the upper bar was emptied of it's alcohol and the liquid was mixing with the salty water of the ocean Jessica made her way to Killgrave to give him the full report. "Yes, Jessica?" He asked when she appeared in front of him "Have you finished what I sent you to do?" Jessica stood mute but nodded. "Speak, Jessica. You know I hate it when you don't answer me with your words" he growled. Jessica quickly replied "Yes. It's done". Killgrave smiled up at Jessica, clearly quite pleased with himself. "Good. You were drinking yourself to death so it really was for your own good, anyways. Sit down with me, Jessica. Relax and enjoy the view". 

Jessica looked down at her bloodied hands and rolled her eyes as she moved to sit in between Killgrave legs, her back against his chest.  _Relax and enjoy the view_ , his command constricted her slowly squeezing out her own desires and replacing them with Killgrave's. Still she looked at her hands, only now with a kind of vague disinterest before looking up at the view in front of her. She placed her hands palm down on her pants, she could feel the warm blood seeping into her jeans and down against her thighs but her only desire was to look at the view and relax. 

 

So this was what hell was like.


	7. God Put A Smile On Your Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer is half working, as long as I hold my breath and don't wiggle it too much. I'm hoping this chapter ends up longer than the last.
> 
> "Where do we go nobody knows?  
> Don't ever say you're on your way down when  
> God gave you style and gave you grace  
> And put a smile upon your face  
> Ah yeah"
> 
> -Coldplay, God Put A Smile On Your Face

Killgrave sat with Jessica leaned against him. He enjoyed her warmth against his chest. The smell of her dark hair, even if she did reek of alcohol at the moment, held a slight floral scent as it always had. He couldn't believe how much Jessica drank. He was sure she could ingest two whole bottles of liquor and not be drunk. Really, who drank that much? Killrave sighed and snaked his arm around Jessica's waist, pulling her even closer. _This is heaven_ he thought with another contented sigh. Absentmindedly he thought about his stronger power and wondered how long his commands worked on Jessica. He hadn't had much time to test it out what with Jessica trying to kill him and all. Killgrave checked his watch discretely. Already past 12 hours since he last commanded her. The trouble with wanting to know his limits meant putting his own life in danger or risking losing Jessica. _No matter. All in good time._ He assured himself.

 

He began to stroke Jessica's hair gently as he made his plans. They would go to Atlantic City to drop the boat off. Not too far away but far enough that Jessica's band of misfits probably wouldn't look. The captain seemed to know of a place to keep the boat and Killgrave was itching to try out his powers and that meant staying put in one place for a bit. He also wanted to put feelers out for a few people around Jessica's strength to keep her in line if she went off the rails and he wasn't able to control her. Preferably with guns, just in case. Of course they couldn't protect him all the time and they'd probably put Jessica off but they'd figure it out. Killgrave's hands found their way back to his thighs where they sat for a while. He closed his eyes and summarized all that had happened since the miracle that brought him his Jessica back. He ended his little journey through the recent past with the memory of their very recent love making.

 

A slow smile spread across his face as his cock started to harden. God help him he could go again. He leaned forward and kissed Jessica on the cheek. He felt her cringe and rolled his eyes. "Is it really so disgusting to have me touch you?" he spat, fighting his reaction to the rejection. He heard her sharp intake of breath and then she stiffened. Jessica seemed to deliberate on this question for a while and then simply answered "Yes".  She sat rigged against him; she was obviously waiting for his backlash. Killgrave sat quietly for a few moments as well. When he spoke again he choked out the words "Why, Jessica?" He always cared for her. Only the best clothes, food, and accommodations. He sought her out when she was struggling to even survive. If you could call what she had been doing 'suriving'. Even her friends had let her sink into this low life of barely eating and drinking herself to death. If that didn't prove that he cared, then what did? Jessica was still sitting rigged between Killgrave's legs. He cleared his throat and said "Jessica. Tell me why. You enjoyed yourself. I made sure of that! Isn't that what lovers do?" He was sure that what he was about to hear would be very upsetting so he steeled himself for it. Jessica's shoulders heaved forward, pulling away from Killgrave. "I. Said. No." she grated out "Why is this so hard for you to understand? I didn't want to. You made me. It doesn't matter if your commands made me enjoy it. It doesn't matter that my body betrayed me when you  _touched_ me" Jessica's voice was almost a growl and her venom dripped from each word. "I fucking told you no and you didn't listen! That's literally the definition of rape. You touch me without my consent and that's why I always hate your touch." her voice was loud but wavered, as if she were fighting back tears. "What made you think I would _ever_ agree to have sex with you? Did I not make it clear when we were living in that fucked up fun house the used to be my childhood home that I despised your touch?!" 

 

Killgrave sat still while Jessica ranted. He wanted to her to feel like he was listening but the things she said felt like outright lies. He felt her wetness, felt her climax. How could both things be true? Killgrave ground his teeth together and looked over Jessica's shoulder to the beautiful scenery around them. This was supposed to be romantic and relaxing but here he was struggling to fight back the urge to punish her again. When they were living together he had been able to control himself much better than this. He wondered if this was because Jessica was pushing him harder or if it was some other reason. After a while Killgrave didn't feel like he was going to bite off his own tongue so he tried to speak. Unfortunately he had nothing good to respond with. "Go. Do as you wish as long as you stay on the boat. We'll be arriving at the docks soon and then we'll get ourselves a hotel room" he waved his hand towards the rest of the boat. Jessica stood quickly as she could to leave but she hesitated. Killgrave looked up with a slight feeling of hope. Would she apologize for being so rash? "I want my own room" she said finally. Killgrave was stunned. Here he was hoping for an apology but she was just twisting the knife. "Absolutely not. I need us to stay in the same room" he replied, his voice holding a sound of finality.

 

Jessica crossed her arms in front of her chest and glowered at Killgrave. "Fine but that room needs two seperate beds in it" she said. Then, before Killgrave could answer she turned in her heel and stormed off. Killgrave couldn't help himself as he watched Jessica walk away. Her amazing ass swinging as she stomped angrily away. His tongue swept across his bottom lip as his eyes took in her beautiful form. Once she was gone from his sight he leaned back and ran his hands through his hair and thought about what she had said. Did she really say no? Did she really mean it? Fuck! People mocked him when he said this 'power' was a burden but here he was in trouble for it again. Usually it was easy to brush off. Some random guy on the street he wouldn't ever encounter again that he would tell himself he'd try harder next time to choose his words more carefully. However this was Jessica. His Jessica. The one he swore to love and protect and here he was controlling her even though he hadn't meant to. Is it such a crime to want your partner to enjoy your sex, too? How the fuck was he going to keep this from happening again?

 

Killgrave sat there for ages trying to come up with a plan to be more careful with what he said to Jessica. He knew that meant he wouldn't get to touch her. He wouldn't get to smell her hair or her delicious scent when she was aroused. As he was contemplating he heard tentative foot steps approach and halt about ten feet away from him. "What?" Killgrave said in an exasperated tone of voice. "Sir, we will be docking soon. What are your orders for us?" Killgrave set his eyes on the Capitan and sat up. "You will wait on the boat until I call you and tell you otherwise. Don't tell anyone that Jessica or myself were ever here. Tell me the moment we're docked". The capitan nodded and moved away from Killgrave as quickly as his feet could carry him. Killgrave approved of the captain's self preservation skills and his lack of back talk. He wasn't sure if he could handle anymore sass from anyone now that he was trying to prove himself to Jessica. He cradled his head in his hands for a while before he stood up and made his way below deck to speak with Jessica. There was something he had to say. Killgrave knew it needed to be said but that it would probably hurt. 

 

It didn't take Killgrave long to find Jessica. He followed the string of broken items that lead to the bedroom. She was sitting on the bed her back against the headboard, her head in her hands, and her knees drawn up to her chest. "Jessica" Killgrave spoke gently. When she didn't look up Killgrave took a few steps towards her.

"Please, Jessica"

This caught her attention. There was a mixture of shock and anger on her face as she waited to see what Killgrave wanted. "First, I wanted to tell you that we're going to be docking soon. Gather what you have and we can get you anything you're missing. Now, I have something very important to tell you and I'd very much like it if you would listen to it all before you say anything. Is this agreeable to you?" He asked and looked pointedly at Jessica, clearly waiting for an answer. "Fine" Jessica replied with a roll of her eyes. Killgrave took a deep breath and tried to form the words. "Jessica. I..." He stopped and clinched his hands so tightly he was sure he would break his own skin soon if he didn't stop. "Jessica, I'm sorry. I choose the wrong words sometimes and done realise it. I...I didn't mean to make you do anything you didn't want to. I'm going to try much harder to make sure I know what your desires are before we do anything." Killgrave took a deep breath and strode out of the room. He wasn't sure if he could take her sharp tongue after he laid himself bare and honestly apologized for what had to be the first time ever in his life. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. Jesus did normal people do this often? Apologizing is one of the most humiliating things he'd ever had to do. 

 

Two hours later and Killgrave hasn't seen Jessica. They were docked and the capitan was retreating hastily as Killgrave made his was down to the bedroom. "Jessica, we're here" he said with a smile. He held his hand out to Jessica and added "Let's go find a place to stay for the night. Are you hungry?". Jessica was dressed, complete with shoes and sneered at Killgrave as she shoved past him. "No. I'm not hungry. Let's get this over with. The sooner you're away from the public the better". Killgrave smiled defensively and followed Jessica to disembark. He strolled down the ramp and looked up at Jessica who was stopped and staring at him in an annoyed fashion. "Well you commanded me to stay on the boat. Unless you want me stay here you're gonna have to amend that" she said and crossed her arms across her chest. Killgrave looked up at Jessica and smiled. Sometimes he really enjoyed the fight she always gave him. It was so new, so exciting. "Please, Jessica. Join me on the docks" Jessica rolled her eyes and traveled down the ramp to stand near Killgrave. _I wish I didn't have to do this_ "Jessica, you may not get more than ten feet from me when we are in public. You must stay near me." Jessica looked perturbed but he knew it could have been worse. "Now. Where to?" He said merrily as he navigated the docks towards the roads. Waiting at the curb was a taxi. The capitan certainly did follow directions well, Killgrave thought approvingly. "Take us to the nicest hotel" he commanded as soon as he and Jessica were seated. The cab driver nodded and pulled away from the curb. As they weaved through traffic Killgrave took the time to study Jessica's face. "Would you mind telling me what you're thinking about?" He asked, carefully choosing his words so he wasn't forcing Jessica to answer. "Yes. I mind" she snapped, never looking from her window. It was Killgrave's turn to roll his eyes. "Alright, then." He retorted and looked out his own window. Killgrave was struggling to not tell Jessica to stop being petulant and smile. 

 

The taxi driver dropped them off at their hotel and after securing their nicest suite, with two seperate beds as her Highness desired, Killgrave decided to take Jessica shopping. "Come, Jessica. Let's go get you some more clothes" he said with great enthusiasm. He loved shopping for clothes with Jessica. She was so beautiful in bright colours, especially purple. Killgrave was sure he saw yet another eyeroll but wisely Jessica did not loose her snark on him at this moment. Surely she would lighten up soon?

 

\------------

 

Jessica was cringing on the inside.  _Shopping? Fuck, I hate being his live Barbie Doll to dress up._ She kept her thoughts to herself, though. Creating a scene in public wouldn't be the best choice since Killgrave seemed less stable than he used to be. That was saying something, too. Like Killgrave needed to be less in control of his emotions that he had been. The first store they went into looked like a rainbow had thrown up all over the shelves and racks. Jessica couldn't contain the look of disgust on her face. "Are you expecting to find something for me here?" She said touching the tiny, brightly coloured dresses with disdain. She could see Killgrave going towards the purple section. God help her if he forced her to wear a dress again she was sure she'd snap his neck right there. "Look around, Jessica" he said waving his hand to indicate the whole store "Find what you want and we'll get it". With that he sat down at the register and began talking to the employee that was working. Jessica roamed the store and managed to find one small section of jeans and t-shirts. She found her sizes and got five pairs of jeans and all three of the black t-shirts they had. Jessica made her way to the counter, under the disapproving eye of Killgrave. The girl at the counter smiled at Jessica. Jessica couldn't help but wonder if the smile was genuine or not. "Thanks for coming today, Ms. Jones. Your purchases have been taken care of" she chirped happily as she bagged the clothes without scanning them. "If you have cameras go destroy the tapes for today and don't tell anyone we were here" Killgrave called over his shoulder as he escorted Jessica out. This happened twice more at two different stores. Jessica couldn't help but grin like a Cheshire cat at Killgrave's obvious silent disapproval of her clothing choices. Sure, she shouldn't find pleasure in doing what she wanted but she had to focus on the good. No matter how small those things were. Plus it felt good to piss off Killgrave. Killgrave stopped in front of another store front and Jessica's pleasure evaporated.

 

"No." it was just a whisper at first but her voice grew stronger the next time she spoke "Abso-fucking-lutely not". Killgrave looked vaguely angry. "Jessica, I will not allow you to have only one pair of panties and one bra. That's just not right" Jessica backed away from Killgrave. "There is no way in hell I will go into a lingerie store with you. I would rather  _die_."

 

Killgrave all but growled at Jessica "No. You don't get a choice about this. You're going to go in and you're going to get whatever you want. I will not let you go without essentials" and with that Killgrave opened the door, holding it open for her. Jessica wanted to scream and run the other way. Instead she headed into the store and threw Killgrave the meanest look she had ever given anyone. She did her best to get the things she needed quickly and efficiently without looking at Killgrave. She was mortified and most certainly did not want Killgrave to see her choices. It was unavoidable, though, since he was standing at the register obviously telling the poor sap to give them the things. Jessica knew these people would be out of jobs the next day, but it was better than dead. At least they had a chance to get on with their lives. Killgrave called out for the worker to delete any tapes and not to tell anyone of their visit as they exited. "Now, let's go back to our room and order some room service" Killgrave said. He moved towards Jessica and plucked the bags from her arms and motioned to head towards the hotel. 

 

Grudgingly Jessica walked to the hotel. It was close to the stores and contained a fairly impressive suite that they now called home. Vaguely Jessica noticed that they were in the elevator now. She was thinking back to her conversion with Trish. "What if he gets control of you again?" she had asked "I'll die before I let that happen again"Jessica had replied. No, she thought to herself, not until he starts using me. Right now I can still get close enough to kill him. Suddenly she looked up at Killgrave in the elevator mirrors. How long had it been since Killgrave's last command to not harm him? Certainly more than 12 hours. Jessica spun on the balls of her feet to face Killgrave. His hands were weighted with Jessica's clothing and she knew this was as good a time as any. Slowly she reached up, her hands reaching for either side of his face. Killgrave was confused at first but then shock replaced his confusion. He watched Jessica's movements silently. She placed her hands on either side of his face, his five o'clock shadow scrapped against her fingers and palms. Jessica's lips twitched at the sides, the start of a smile. A few seconds before she twisted his head with all her might his words swathed her, strangling her freedom. She still couldn't harm him. Fuck! How strong had he gotten? She stood there for a few more seconds, struggling to regain the power over herself. She was so god damn close. Her nostrils flared with anger as she was snapped out of her revere by the sound of the elevator door sliding open. They were in their floor, and Jessica had failed. Her hands dropped to her sides and she walked to the suite door. Maybe she did need to die before this got bad again.


	8. Friends In Low Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After falling under Killgrave's spell again Jessica is dragged away from her friends and family. She is now subject to Killgrave's whims and head spinning emotional swings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to be consistent here so I've got another chapter for you. This time we're furthering the story! FYI there will be graphic content contained. If blood makes you squeamish be prepared(or skip the two paragraph after Jessica refusing dinner).
> 
> Also I apologize for any mistakes or errors in the stories. I have ADHD and dyslexia and writing and reading isn't always so easy for me.
> 
> Yesterday was my birthday or this would have been done sooner.

Killgrave followed Jessica to the door of the suite. He was shocked that not only had Jessica looked him straight in the eyes but she had reached up and touched him. She _touched_ him. Killgrave set the bags of Jessica's abysmal clothing choices on the floor and dug out the key card to the door. He unlocked the door, propped it open with his heel, and turned to looked at Jessica. He was contemplating what to say to her, how to express his feelings for her when, before he could speak, Jessica quickly found her way in the suite without touching him. This was a feat since Killgrave was essentially filling the door. He didn't miss that little move. Clearly that stunt in the elevator was her pushing her limits. Pushing against the orders he had given her. The event was unsettling to think about with this extra piece of information. Killgrave had actually allowed himself to wonder if Jessica was changing her mind for a few moments before crashing down to earth. _Of course she wasn't changing her mind. She was trying to fucking kill me_ he thought to himself. He growled quietly as he dragged her bags into the room and dropped them at the little table by the door. Jessica always did know how to push his rules. She almost never followed his commands immediately, obviously mentally pushing against him as best she could.

 

Thankfully his idiotic hope hadn't gotten him killed. He'd have to beef up his commands about his own safety. What an idiot he had been! "Jessica" he called and peaked into the bedroom Jessica had wandered into. "What?" her annoyed answer rang out from the bed. Killgrave leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms across his chest. He had decided to meet this head on. "What was that all about just now?" he asked. Jessica shrugged and didn't answer. Killgrave did his best to squash his rising anger. "Answer me truthfully, Jessica. Explain it all to me." he commanded with a roll of his eyes. Honestly, how could she expect him to not use his powers when she refused to answer simple questions?

 

Jessica had the good sense to look guilty, or was it worried, when her mouth opened and the truth spilled out despite her "Your hands were full. You hadn't commanded me in over 12 hours. I thought if I could just kill you now I'd save humanity the pain of your continued existence. I was going to snap your neck, which was my original plan on the docks before you got your claws into me again. It's quick and clean and unlike the bus incident I'd be able to make sure the job was done" Killgrave watched Jessica for a while in silence. He knew he had been naive thinking that her touching him was anything other than a threat. He was angry. Angry he allowed himself to feel safe around her. Angry that she felt the need to kill him. Angry that she always had to fight against him. There was more, though. A feeling he didn't understand. It felt like his heart was ripping in two. He turned around and walked off, his hands fisted in his pockets.

 

Killgrave had to get away from her before he did something he regretted, like making her stab herself or make her jump from the ground to their deck until she couldn't stand anymore. Actually, that last one had potential if they weren't in public. He would love to see her exerting herself so fully. He was going to need to talk to her, _again_. The thought of having to talk to her yet again made his anger rise. His eyes clouded in anger as he reached the kitchen. _How the fuck are we both going to survive her learning her lesson?!_ he thought to himself. As he strolled away, deceivingly calm, the suite phone rang. The sound grated on his nerves. It made Killgrave's ears feel like they were going to bleed. _Damn it all to hell, why does everything in the bloody world need to be so damn loud?!_ Killgrave thought to himself. "Get that, Jessica" he grated.

\--------------------

 

Jessica sighed as her body removed itself from laying across the bed to the stand holding the phone. "What?" she growled into the receiver.

"Jessica Jones?" a man's voice came. Jessica felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Killgrave always took a room in a fake identity. Neither of their names would be associated with this room. Something was wrong here.

"Yes" she answered tentatively.

"Are you free to talk? Are you alone?" he responded.

"No" she replied

"Very well. Know that we are watching you. We will do our best to retrieve you" the man said

Killgrave leaned against the door frame again. "Who is it, Jessica?" he asked, one brow arched.

"Lie. And make it good, Jones" came the man's voice on the phone.

 

Jessica sighed and replied "What do you want to have from room service?" she asked, putting her best 'annoyed to be doing this' tone of voice into the performance. "Oh yes, we'll have whatever is best and freshest today" he replied and wandered off again. "We'll have the best and freshest of what you have today." she relayed the information. "I'll get that taken care of. Know we're keeping an eye on you. Until next time Ms Jones."

 

With that Jessica dropped the receiver onto the hook quickly and flopped back onto the bed. _What was that all about?_ she pondered to herself. This brought in a whole new angle to the situation. She hadn't known the voice so it was someone who had been watching her. However that person had not been working for Killgrave but _aware_ of him. They were keeping their distance so they knew of his powers. That most likely meant that they knew about hers too. This could be good. This could also be very, very bad. Killgrave inspired the worst in people. Not just because of Killgrave's commands but people who heard of his powers wanted to use them for their own purposes. Great, now not only did she have to worry about Killgrave but she had to worry about this nameless group of people who were following her and Killgrave. She rolled her eyes again and groaned. Why the fuck couldn't people just stay away from Killgrave?! Her own life be damned! Nothing was worth allowing the powers that be get their hands on Killgrave, or more likely the other way around. Allowing Killgrave into the government's circles would be horrific. What she wouldn't give for a drink right now. Jessica put her shaking arm over her eyes and stayed on her bed for what seemed like ages. At some point there was a knock at the door and Killgrave's voice. Jessica knew it was dinner time and she was _not_ in the mood to play house right now. "Jessica" Killgrave's voice came from the living room "It's dinner time". Jessica stood up and unsteadily made her way to the table before he felt the need to command her. She flopped into the chair and stared at the food on her plate.

 

"Please, enjoy Jessica" Killgrave said and waved his hand towards her plate. Jessica looked at her plate and thought through that statement, as she did every time he spoke. Was this a command? No. That meant she got a choice in the matter. She did a mental check of her body and realised that the smell of the food was making her nauseous. Her lip curled up in disgust as she stood from the table and quipped "No thanks." She needed a drink. Badly. She refused to ask for one, though. She knew that asking would be humiliating and would _not_ end in her getting said drink. Jessica made her way to her room, rolling her eyes at the horrific sounds of Killgrave's cutlery against his plate. _Jesus! Can't that man eat quieter?!_ she thought to herself. She flopped onto the bed, toed off her boots, placed her socks inside them, and crawled under the covers suddenly feeling very tired.

 

Jessica's eyes opened and she looked around, curiously. She was in Trish's fortress of a home. _How did I get here?_ she wondered. She slowly sat up, threw the sheets back and lowered her feet to the floor but recoiled suddenly when they landed on a damp floor. Confusion clouded Jessica's face as she looked down at the floor. "JESUS!" she cried out. The floor was slick with a dark red liquid. At first she wondered quietly what could be on the floor. Trish always kept the house spotless so this was really out of the norm for her. "Trish?" she called out and made her way to the door at the opposite end of the room. "Jessica?" Trish's voice was distant and odd sounding. "Trish?!" Jessica called out again, as her feet moved quicker. Jessica made her way through the door quickly but stopped a few steps out. Her face contorted in horror as she saw Trish laying on the floor. The red liquid was oozing from her, coating the floor. The shriek that clawed it's way out of Jessica's throat was shocking even to her. "TRISH?!" she screamed as she ran, unsteadily, to her sister. "Oh fuck! Shit! Trish, what the fuck happened?" Jessica wept. Jessica scanned her sister, trying to see if she could fix the situation.

 

Trish was laying on the floor, her throat slit from one side to the other. The chef's knife was still clutched in her hand, covered in blood. Her cold and unseeing eyes looked just past where Jessica stood. A look of peacefulness was plastered on her face. Jessica tried to get the image to translate into her brain. What the fuck happened here? Slowly the information trickled in. Killgrave. It had to have been Killgrave. Jessica looked up and spotted Killgrave sitting at the dining room table. His cutlery was halted mid air as he watched Jessica. Suddenly Jessica's temper flared and Jessica was on her feet headed towards Killgrave before her brain knew what was happening. "Jessica?" he asked, confusion coloured his voice. Her hand was around his neck and she was slamming him against the wall as quick as her feet could carry her. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't crush his windpipe. She glared down Killgrave "What did you do to Trish?!" she spat pointing towards the floor where her sister lay. Killgrave looked in the direction Jessica pointed and looked back to Jessica "Darling, are you feeling alright?" he asked. Jessica sneered at Killgrave and shook him like a rag doll. "No I'm not fucking alright! You killed Trish, you bastard!" she hollered. Jessica wondered why Killgrave looked so confused. Usually he enjoyed seeing her reaction to his fucked up shows of love and devotion. "Put me down, Jessica" Killgrave said and placed his hand on Jessica's shaking arm that was holding him against the wall.

 

"Sit down in that chair and keep your hands on your thighs. Don't move from that position until I tell you otherwise" he added once his feet were back on the ground. He cleared his throat and massaged his neck before slowly making is way towards the table where Jessica sat, hands on her thighs. Jessica watched Killgrave pick up his knife and fork from the ground and set them on the table. She was unsteady. She was cold, her body shaking. She didn't understand why Killgrave wasn't prancing around the Trish's body with a smug grin on his face.

 

Killgrave stood at the opposite end of the table, clearly shaken. "Jessica, what is it that you see?" he asked in a calm, even voice. Jessica wanted to lunge across the table and stab his knife into his chest. "I see Trish. She's lying over **there** " she stabbed her finger in the direction of Trish's body "having slit her own throat from one side to the other with a knife. You had to have made her do this! Why else would you be here and her dead on the floor?" she snarled. Her fingers dug into her thighs through her jeans in annoyance. "Jessica, where are we?" he asked. At this question Jessica snarled and fought with all her might to stand. She was dying to break his hold on her and strangle that asshole where he stood. The more she fought his command the worse the feeling of choking got. She struggled until she felt like she was going to pass out, only instead of yellow spots in her eyes there were purple ones. She didn't answer, she only shook and glared at Killgrave. At this Killgrave rolled his eyes "Answer me" he grated through clenched teeth "Where do you think we are?" Jessica's answer spilled out without her consent "We're in Trish's apartment. Obviously!" With this answer Killgrave's brow furrowed and worry settled into his gaze.

 

\--------------------

 

"Tell me honestly. How you feel, Jessica? Be very descriptive." Killgrave commanded and sat across from Jessica at the table. He quickly made a mental note of what he could see. She was hallucinating, obviously. She was shaking, sweating profusely, and appeared to be breathing hard. She was visibly agitated and seemed to be very confused. Jessica groaned and rolled her eyes before finally complying. "I feel like I'm going crazy. I was in Atlantic City with you, but now I'm in Trish's apartment. I feel awful. I swear I'm gonna throw up if I have to smell the shit on that plate. I'm freezing. Why is it so cold in here?" Jessica answered but couldn't stay on topic for long even with Killgrave's command, this was proof that she was very confused. Then it dawned on him. "Jessica, answer me truthfully. When was the last time you had a drink?"

 

Jessica screwed up her face as she tried to focus and count the hours since she had last taken a drink. Killgrave waited patiently and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew he might not like the answer but he needed her honesty right now, for her life and his. "When we were on that god forsaken boat" Jessica replied finally "Just before I dumped the whole supply of alcohol overboard. So...six hours? Maybe more." Killgrave let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding. "Shit" he said simply and moved towards the phone in the living room. "Get me a doctor, **now** " he growled into the receiver and slammed it back into it's cradle. Killgrave pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. After taking a moment to stifle the fear that was welling up in him. If this was as bad as he thought it was his Jessica could die. No. He couldn't think like that. He would get the best doctor there was and command they keep her alive and help her get better. If they failed they would pay dearly.

 

Killgrave turned his attention to Jessica. "Listen to me, Jessica. I suspect you're going through alcohol withdrawl. You will obey my every command immediately and without hesitation. Do you understand?" Killgrave's voice was stern and he had a very no nonsense look on his face. Jessica stifled a chuckle and responded "Yes". Killgrave nodded and then said "Good. Now go lay on the bed. A doctor is coming and I need you to be polite and not hinder him" Jessica was standing and walking before Killgrave was finished speaking. He was pleased with this. He'd have to remember that he could have Jessica not fight every command if he wanted. He couldn't lie to himself though, half of his draw to her was her ability to fight and push against his power. This wouldn't be something he did often, he was sure. He watched her flop onto the bed in an exaggerated fashion. Jessica was obviously showing him her displeasure with his control and it made his mouth twitch into a smile. Always the difficult woman, but that was something he enjoyed.

 

Just then there was a knock at the door. "Stay on the bed until I say otherwise" Killgrave said over his shoulder as he hurried towards the door. He swung open the door and found a doctor waiting patiently, a large black bag in his hand. "I was told someone needed a doctor, here" he said with a nod of his head "My name is Doctor John Cutter." Doctor Cutter offered his hand for a handshake but Killgrave just waved him into the room. "Yes we need your expertise just in here" he said, choosing every word carefully so that he wasn't controlling the doctor. Killgrave lead the doctor into Jessica's room. Killgrave was shocked to find Jessica writhing on the bed, her shirt had bunched up at her waist and her hands were clenched into fists as her body began to shake uncontrollably. "Shit!" the doctor whispered as he dropped his bag near the door and moved quickly to Jessica's side. "I need information as quickly as possible. Did she take anything? How was she acting before? What made you call for a doctor?" John asked gruffly, his dark brows furrowing in concentration as he tried to keep Jessica from falling from the bed.

 

Killgrave was taken aback by the tone the doctor had taken. He was just about to demand to be spoken to respectfully when he caught himself. _Relax_ he told himself _This is for Jessica's good_. With a calming breath he summed up the situation quickly, being sure to mention Jessica's massive daily alcohol intake. His worried gaze never left Jessica's shaking figure. The doctor nodded in understanding from time to time and was about to speak when Jessica's shaking slowed. The doctor stood from his kneeling position and slowly backed away. "What are you doing?!" Killgrave snapped "She requires your help!" John looked to Killgrave and spoke softly "Sir, you need to back up. This could get ugly. When a person comes out of a seizure they are often confused and disorientated. They can become violent while they try to adjust to their surroundings again". Killgrave gave this a moment of thought before slowly stepping away with the doctor. "Please tell me what your diagnosis is and how we're going to treat her" Killgrave spoke and then added "If you will" so he wasn't controlling the poor sod. He didn't want to give away his powers and knew they needed to keep an eye on Jessica so she didn't use her full strength on either himself or the good doctor. "Perhaps we should take this into the living room?" Killgrave suggested, though he was already headed for the sitting area. The doctor followed dutifully and sat on the couch. Killgrave sat in the armchair, rested his right ankle on his left knee, and laced his fingers together in his lap. "The woman in that room seems to be going through one of the worst cases of alcohol withdrawl I've ever seen. She needs to go to a hospital right away." John stood up and and made his way to the phone. "No." Killgrave stated and watched John stop in shock. "You do realise that refusing her medical treatment could kill her, right" he asked pointedly, still reaching for the phone. Killgrave growled as he pushed himself into a standing position "Stop! Do not touch that phone. You will care for her here in the hotel room, under my watchful eye. You will bring in any equipment you need, there is no need to take her to the hospital. If she dies you will suffer. Now call who you need to but she will remain in this hotel room"

 

John's look of surprise had pleased Killgrave. He always liked watching people fall under his control and be powerless to fight against his will, except for Jessica that is. He watched expectantly as the doctor lifted the phone and dialed. "Yes, this is John Cutter. I need to speak to Doctor Kozlov. Tell him I need this list of equipment to be brought to me" John continued to speak but Killgrave was drawn to Jessica's room by a rather impressive string of cuss words and the sound of the bedside lamp shattering. He slowly opened the door and looked in. Jessica was conscious but not very coordinated, coupled with her intense strength she had demolished the lamp instead of just turning the damn thing on. "Do you need help, love?" He asked, stifling his laughter poorly. Jessica's head snapped to the door and pure hatred radiated from her. "I don't need help from  _you_ " she snarled and went to stand up. "Jessica you really should sit down. You're not well" he said calmly. Jessica growled, like a caged animal to its captors, and stood up anyways. Jessica made full eye contact with Killgrave, letting him know that she was defing him willingly and with the utmost prejudice, when she suddenly fell to the ground. She called out in pain as she fell into the broken, shattered mess of the lamp. 

 

Killgrave was at Jessica's side in the blink of an eye, assessing her. "Cutter!" He called as he reached down and attempted to help Jessica up. "Don't touch me" she snapped and smacked his hands away from her. Killgrave bit back his angry response and instead said "Get up off the floor. Sit on the bed and wait for the doctor. Allow him to remove the shards of glass from your body and then lay back on the bed. Do not leave this bed until I tell you. We don't need you having another seizure while you're on your feet". By the time Killgrave was done with his speech the doctor was in the room, bag in hand, and moving towards Jessica. "Hello, I'm Doctor John Cutter. Before we begin here let me remove the shards of glass and stitch up what needs to be stitched. What can I call you?" He asked. "Jessica" she responded simply, her voice was quiet but dripping with contempt. Honestly, was she ever grateful?! "Nice to meet you Jessica, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I'm going to do my best to help." The good doctor got to work and was very efficient. Soon the shards were removed and Jessica was so stitched up. Killgrave watched with satisfaction as Jessica laid down, following his orders to a T with no fight. Maybe she was learning. Or maybe she was just delirious from alcohol withdrawl. "Jessica" Dr Cutter started "Can you tell me what's going on?" Jessica rolled her eyes. God help him, Killgrave was going to snap. "Nothing. I'm fine" Jessica replied in a bored tone, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Killgrave took a step forward, about to let Jessica have it when the doctor surprised him. "Is that so?" Cutter began, his voice sharp "So you normally have seizures, then? What about the fever? Always have that, too? If you're not honest with me you could die, Jessica. Do you understand? Are you ready to die?" Killgrave was impressed. Not many people could give Jessica a verbal lashing, but doctor Cutter had done a fine job. Killgrave watched Jessica war with herself. He could tell she was masking the symptoms the best she could, though it seemed that even with her considerable strength she couldn't stop the shaking completely. Why wasn't she speaking?! Didn't she understand what the doctor had said to her? She could die! Jesus, what would he do without Jessica? "I'm cold" Jessica's voice brought Killgrave out of his mental tailspin "I can't stop fucking shaking. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I'm anxious, though" she paused to look at Killgrave "That's pretty normal." Doctor Cutter was making mental notes, nodding patiently with each new symptom Jessica listed. Killgrave waited for Jessica to drop the biggest symptom but she sat silent so Killgrave decided to say it "She's also hallucinating" which earned him a rather angry glare from Jessica. Doctor Cutter turned his attention to Killgrave "Auditory, tactile, or visual?"the doctor asked quickly. "Visual for sure, but Jessica would have to answer for the others." Killgrave turned his attention to Jessica with the full intention of commanding her to be honest but was shocked into silence when he saw Jessica curled up in a ball on her side, shaking like a leaf. This didn't look like the seizure he had just seen but he wasn't an expert so he turned his attention to the doctor. Doctor Cutter was already in action. He has reached into his bag and brought out a syringe and a bottle of liquid. Killgrave stifled his urge to recoil and watched as the doctor drew out some of the liquid. After a quick change of needles the doctor quickly injected it into Jessica. Killgrave watched as Jessica's tense body slowly relaxed and her breathing bene rhythmic. "I'm not going to lie to you, sir. I'm pretty worried. This is a very serious matter and she needs round the clock care. I'll need to start an IV. She's going to need fluids, vitamins, and pain medication to help her through this. It's going to be hard and she's going to be in pain. I suggest you get her into counseling too, as she clearly has a very bad addiction." Doctor Cutter said as he moved towards the door of the suite.

 

The next few hours passed in a blur. For once the chaos and hustle wasn't orchestrated by Killgrave, but by the dark haired young doctor that was keeping Jessica from dying due to her own horrific mistakes. If she thought she would ever have another drop of alcohol again after putting him through this she had another thing coming. The IV was placed fairly easily, to Killgrave's shock. Though, in fairness, Jessica was essentially comatose thanks to the Valium the good doctor had given her. Jessica had needed to be dressed down, and into a hospital gown. Some male nurse almost died when he had tried to undress Jessica without warning Killgrave or asking permission. He had put a stop to that quickly and dealt with the task himself. He couldn't bare the idea of his Jessica being undressed by another man, even if that man was a nurse. Once she was situated on her bed, attached to at least two machines the hustle died down. Doctor Cutter agreed to stay and keep an eye on Jessica and sent all but one of his staff away. Killgrave had given his room to the doctor and the nurse and decided to stay in the room with Jessica. A few is the nurses had been ' _kind'_ enough to move the sofa, with a god awful pull out bed, into Jessica's room for him before they left. Killgrave called the desk to have the pull out bed made up for him before bed. He knew that he probably wouldn't sleep, especially with the ear grating sounds of the beeping equipment. He prepared for bed, never leaving Jessica alone, and crawled into bed and tried to sleep. Jessica needed him for protection now, he would not leave her side. Even if death came to take her.


	9. Purple Haze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica is suffering from an extreme case of alcohol withdrawl. Killgrave refuses to allow Jessica to go to a hospital but has commanded a mysterious doctor to treat her in their hotel suite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday, lovelies! 
> 
> This and the next chapter will be separate accounts of the same event. Normally I hate this kind of thing but it will be far from verbatim so I think it will be acceptable. This chapter will also partially overlap with the last one, only in Jessica's perspective(so it may end up being kind of long-sorry about that). I'm hoping that it doesn't get too tedious to read twice, even if it is two people's points of view.

 

 _"Purple haze, all in my brain_  
Lately things they don't seem the same  
Actin' funny, but I don't know why  
Excuse me while I kiss the sky"

 

Jessica watched Killgrave rush to the phone in a tizzy. "Get me a doctor" he said "NOW!" and then very angrily put the phone back onto it's cradle. Jessica snorted a laugh softly _Does he really think they'll just snap to attention and find a doctor just laying around?_ she thought to herself _and anyways, Trish was dead. What good would a doctor do now?_ She looked down at her hands and tried to move them. They would rub her jean clad thighs but otherwise remained in place. "Listen to me, Jessica." Killgrave's stern voice pulled her attention back to him "I suspect you're going through alcohol withdrawl. You will obey my every command immediately and without hesitation. Do you understand?" _That didn't take long_ Jessica thought to herself with a failed attempt to squash her chuckle. "Yes" she replied with a nod of her head. She wanted to snap at him. Tell him to fuck himself but she knew it wouldn't make a difference.

Then came the dreaded command "Good. Now go lay on the bed." and Jessica was up and walking. Her heart pounding in her chest like it was searching for an exit. It was only when she was on her way that she heard the rest of the Killgrave's sentence "A doctor is coming and I need you to be polite and not hinder him". As Jessica made her way to her bed she realised that Trish was no longer on the floor. Her bloody mess was missing as well. Come to think of it they were in a hotel suite, not Trish's house. _What the fuck is going on? Is this some fucked up punishment?_ she thought to herself. The closer Jessica got to the bed covered with that hideous floral pattern comforter, the more she wished she could just leave. Leave and find a good, stiff drink. She may have been able to fight his commands but she _had_ to show her disdain for them somehow. Instead of placing herself on the bed in a 'ladylike fashion' that Killgrave no doubt expected, Jessica unceremoniously flopped onto the bed. Her body fell in a crumpled mess on top of the covers and she let out a huff for good measure. She adjusted herself so she was laying on her back, her raven hair spread out in a semicircle around her head. She crossed her arms across her chest in an attempt to keep from shivering. _Why the fuck is it so goddamn cold in here? Why do we need a doctor? Where the fuck did Trish's body go?!_ her thoughts were bouncing from topic to topic, her own mind out of her control.

Jessica's dark brows furrowed as she tried to make sense of everything. Suddenly she became all too aware of Killgrave's lecherous, unwavering stare. She watched him leaned against the  door frame, arms crossed, and his coal eyes staring intently taking in her form. She was about to tell him off when there was a knock at the door. Killgrave turned on his heel and headed to the door quickly "Stay on the bed until I say otherwise" he told her without even looking at her. She rolled her eyes in annoyance at his crushing control. Jessica heard the door open and soft voices floated around her but she couldn't understand them. She had a vague sense of something wrong. Her eyelids were heavy, her sight blurred no matter how hard she tried to focus. She was tired but unable to fight the sensations that were surrounding her. Suffocating her. Incapacitating her.

Voices. There were voices nearby. They were coming to her through the thick fog. Two men. One voice sounded familiar but no name came to mind. The first voice was suddenly reticent. What were they saying? Were they leaving?

Jessica's eyes fluttered open, though she wasn't sure at first if she could actually see. Everything was shapeless. What had just happened? Where was she? Why couldn't she see? Jessica rubbed her eyes quickly in an attempt to clear them. When that didn't work she growled softly and attempted to crawl off of the soft surface she was laying on. Why was she on this...bed? Yes, it was a bed. Confusion clouded her mind as she searched her memories for an explanation as to why she was in the bed. A feral growl slipped from her when she couldn't bring the recent events to the forefront of her mind. They were all just slightly out of reach. After agonizing over her vague memories for what seemed like forever Jessica abandoned the useless task. Deciding that a little extra light would help her to see better she reached for the lamp sitting on top of the cheap bedside table. Jessica leaned over the bed, her body doing everything it could to stay on the mattress. She reached out, her focus split between turning on the light that seemed to be just out of reach and staying on the bed.

Suddenly voices floated in from the open door. _FUCK! Killgrave is here!_ "Oh god damn it!" she snarled. Jessica's shaking fingers tightened as fear ripped through her body and the bedside lamp shattered. The pale blue lamp shards tumbled to the ground, the light bulb shattering upon impact with the floor. "Holy shit! That fucking hurt! God damn it! Just my fucking shitty luck! How the fuck did I get stuck with this asshole again?!" she said to no one in particular. Her mind had been slowly feeding her the memories that had been eluding her. At first it seemed like a really horrific nightmare. She had had dreams like this since Killgrave had been run down by a bus. Then his disgusting voice slid it's way into her ears.

"Do you need help, love?" he asked, enjoying her struggle a little too much. Jessica turned to look at Killgrave and, wishing that looks really could kill, she gave him the meanest look she could conjure up. "I don't need help from  _you_ " she growled. She needed to show him that she wasn't weak, no matter how awful she felt. Jessica shifted her weight to stand up when Killgrave's voice drifted over her again "Jessica you really should sit down. You're not well" he said, in a tone that she could only imagine was he best attempt at caring about someone other than himself. She growled, the anger in her consuming her. Her brown eyes locked with his coal orbs and in a moment of angry pride she rose to her feet, standing on the bed since she wasn't allowed to get off the damn thing. Suddenly she realised her body was shaking furiously. She was unsteady, her head throbbed, and the room spun.

The floor met her unfriendly and sharp. A cry of pain escaped Jessica's lips as she fell onto the sea of broken lamp shards. Killgrave was at her side in a split second, his disgusting hands touching her. "Cutter" he yelled at a volume that seemed far too loud to be necessary. "Don't touch me!" Jessica snapped as she slapped his hands away from her. She couldn't stand his touch, even if it meant that she would grind more shards into her skin without his help. She watched in silent fear as veins crept up Killgrave's face. She knew she had crossed a line striking him but she couldn't hurt him so honestly, he could just get over it. "Get up off the floor. Sit on the bed and wait for the doctor. Allow him to remove the shards of glass from your body and then lay back on the bed. Do not leave this bed until I tell you. We don't need you having another seizure while you're on your feet" Killgrave's voice was laced with rage but his command was shockingly reasonable. For having your free will taken, that is.

Jessica sat on the edge of the bed begrudgingly but didn't put up a fuss. She was too busy trying to tame the extreme shaking her body was doing. In an attempt to hold herself together and stop shaking like a leaf she crossed her arms across her chest. Her mind was racing and she couldn't focus on any one thing for long. Suddenly she noticed a man kneeling in front of her. His light green eyes were piercing and contrasted beautifully with his raven hair and mocha skin. Jessica found herself lost in his eyes for the longest time before she realised he had been speaking to her. "Hello, I'm Doctor John Cutter. Before we begin here let me remove the shards of glass and stitch up what needs to be stitched. What can I call you?"

After processing the doctor's words she responded "Jessica". She knew she would have to answer to please Killgrave's desire for manners but she did **not** approve of having a doctor brought in. She was doing okay. Exposing more people to Killgrave was dangerous and she knew it. The doctor turned his green eyes up to meet her brown ones and said "Nice to meet you Jessica, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I'm going to do my best to help". With that he reached into his giant black bag of medical supplies and obtained a pair of pliers, a metal bowl, alcohol wipes, and a package with a drawing on it that looked like a sick version of needle and thread. Jessica eyed the needle with apprehension and grunted when the doctor began pulling out shard after shard from her. Each shard was dropped into the metal bowl with an ear piercing _CLINK_. She did her best to not move, though a few of those god forsaken shards had to be dug out of her side at great pain to her. Jessica was shocked with how many shards the doctor removed from her. How had she not noticed that? It seemed like her attempts at stifling the shaking was going well and that pleased her. Jessica let go of her biceps and began rubbing her arms. Up and down, trying to get rid the bug that had landed on her. Maybe if she could convince him to leave she could deal with this on her own. That would be the best case scenario for that poor bastard of a doctor. It seemed like the doctor didn't even notice her now fairly well controlled shaking and she hoped it would stay that way. Thankfully the doctor didn't seem to feel the need to stitch her up, instead he reached in and got what appeared to be glue. He cleaned the wounds and glued a few of the larger cuts together.

After gathering up his mess he turned to Jessica, those green eyes conveying warmth and care. "Jessica" the doctor said gently "Can you tell me what's going on?". Jessica rolled her eyes. Really, how much could he care. If he knew how much danger he was in he would **not** be this calm. "Nothing. I'm fine" she answered, trying her best to sound bored. Suddenly the shaking was back, stronger than it had been so she crossed her arms across her chest again. _Why can't I get this bug off of me? Leave it to Killgrave to pick the one hotel that has bugs_ she thought, trying to distract herself from the unexplained feeling of dread and panic that was rising up in her. The doctor's sharp reply brought her out of her reverie "So you normally have seizures, then? What about the fever? Always have that, too? If you're not honest with me you could die, Jessica. Do you understand? Are you ready to die?". His little speech shocked her. He cared _so much_ and he didn't even know her. She could die? Would that be so bad? Jessica almost said as much but knew if that statement ever slipped through her lips Killgrave would never leave her on her own. Having Killgrave around constantly would be awful and would put an end to the only option out of this horrific nightmare she was stuck in.

Jessica had no idea how long she had been in her own head so she decided to answer. Surely Killgrave was overreacting and her answer would help the doctor come to that conclusion. "I'm cold" she began "I can't stop fucking shaking. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I'm anxious, though" she paused to look at Killgrave, being sure to make eye contact so he knew it was his fucking fault "That's pretty normal". Killgrave was looking at Jessica expectantly. She had no idea what he was willing her to do so she remained silent. The symptoms she listed off weren't bad on their own. Though this talk of a seizure didn't bode well for her plan of getting the doctor to leave of his own volition. Jessica imagined picking up the doctor by his collar and throwing him out of the suite. That would be entertaining to say the least.

"She's also hallucinating" Killgrave added. Jessica's eyes snapped back to Killgrave's face as she glared up at him. _God damn it do you have to ruin everything?!_ she thought angrily as she laid back onto the comforter. Jessica heard the doctor speak but it sounded far away. Hopefully he wasn't expecting a reply from Jessica. It was too hard to answer. Her body was heavy. The room was freezing. She curled up into a ball to try and warm herself up. Her body hurt. Her head was pounding. Her body shaking. Vaguely Jessica was aware of a pinching in her arm. It was annoying but didn't really hurt. As a matter of fact it relaxed her. She could feel the darkness overwhelming her. She welcomed it, hoping to escape from the pain and Killgrave.

As Jessica came to she realised that she couldn't see. Yet again. She needed that damn lamp to be replaced. She groaned in pain as she sat up and tried to look around. There was the sound of beeping, or was it singing? Whatever it was, it was annoying as hell. Jessica reached up to her head with both hands, trying to hold it in hopes that the pounding would lessen if she did. The feeling of something in the crook of her arm brought her attention away from her head for a moment. She looked down and saw an IV. Jesus, did Killgrave admit her to a hospital? He's not usually that stupid. With her brows furrowed in confusion she looked around the room. No, they were still in the suite. Jessica slowly slipped off of the bed, closing the short distance to the machines she was attached to. _Why am I hooked up to an IV?_ she thought to herself as she watched her heartbeat monitor beep what she assumed was a slightly too fast tempo. It was then that she realised that she wasn't in her clothes. What. The. Fuck.

Who had changed her? How long had she been out? Why did all this fucking matter? The beeping sped up as she twisted on the heels of her bare feet. With a quick pull the IV was removed. She was leaving. Now. The stickers on her chest were next, creating a grating single pitched screech. Jessica headed for the door but was stopped by strange creatures blocking her way. At first she was just curious. She bent down and took a good look at the knee high creatures that were blocking her. They sat on two feet, leaned back on their haunches. Their bright yellow eyes watched her intently as she reached her shaking hand out in an attempt to pet their furry bodies. Suddenly they bared their teeth. Long, slender, blood covered teeth. Their growls drowned out the sound of the heart monitor screeching in the background and her curiosity gave way to panic. "Holy fuck!" she exclaimed and fell backwards, crawling on hands and feet away from them as fast as she could.

It was then that Jessica noticed that there was someone else in the room. She stood up quickly and adopted a fighting stance. "Jessica?" the familiar masculine voice asked "What are you doing up out of bed?" A shiver ran down her spine as she turned her eyes to take in Killgrave's figure. He was sitting on the side of a pull out bed. _When did they bring a couch in here?!_ The sight of him on such a pedestrian bed, in only his boxers tickled Jessica to the core. For a moment the hilariousness of the situation overwhelmed her fear. A hysterical laugh bubbled up from Jessica's throat. The look on Killgrave's face made it all so much better. It completed the absurdity of the situation so completely that she was _sure_ this was a hallucination. There were more voices now, and Jessica's laughter died off quickly with the intrusion of more people into the already crowded room. Once again Jessica took a fighting stance and launched herself towards the people at the door. She didn't know their voices but she took down the smaller female easily.

With her taken down and seemingly unconscious Jessica turned her focus towards the male. He was disheveled and looked like he had just woken up. His dark hair was a mess and his clothes looked like pajamas. He was, however, was on high alert. His body was poised to fight. Jessica smiled as she circled him, ready for the inevitable fight. Jessica felt her muscles coil in anticipation of her launch towards the rival in front of her. To her surprise he leapt first, tackling her to the ground. He was attempting to secure her hands above her head when she pulled her foot up in between their bodies. She pushed her foot forward, sending him flying across the room. Jessica was on her feet before he hit the ground. "Jessica" her opponent said in a submissive voice "Do you remember me? I'm Doctor John Cutter. I'm here to help you. We met earlier today. You're very sick and you need to lay down. I don't want you to get hurt". Jessica laughed at this "You don't want **me** to get hurt?" she replied  enjoying his ridiculous statement.

The pain came on slowly, masked by her adrenaline at first. Cutter crept towards Jessica and she recognized that his movements weren't those of a simple doctor. He had military training. She was sure of it. "Jessica" he said softly "I want to help you get better. Don't you want to _go home_ _?_ Don't you want to see your friends and family again?".

"Go home?!" she scoffed, rubbing her arms roughly "I'll never go home and see my sister again. I have no friends. I have no home"

"No. You have friends and family and I'm sure they miss you and look forward to your return" he whispered, his eyes trying to convey something more to her without words

"You should leave. Leave while you're still alive. There's no saving me but I can make sure no one else suffers" Jessica's resolve showed in her eyes and stance. She would not back down.

Suddenly Jessica doubled over in pain, the feeling of her skin on fire was all she could focus on. She groaned as she tried to focus on her opponent, her hands rubbing her arms furiously. Cutter took his chance and lunged at Jessica. Just as Jessica was winding a balled fist back to punch the doctor Killgrave's voice blanketed her, loud and angry "Jessica! Stop!". Jessica glared at Killgrave as she froze, her hand in the air poised to knock that asshole of a doctor out. "Hands at your side" he added as he turned to the doctor. "Where do you need her? She wouldn't _dare_ disobey me"

The doctor had stopped his tackle when Killgrave took control of Jessica. She wondered if the doctor knew what he was dealing with. He was hinting at something but nothing he was saying made sense. She could never go home! Her sister was better off without her and Jessica knew that. She could never go back until Killgrave was cold and six feet under. Whether she lived through that or not didn't really matter much. The two men talked as Jessica stood like an idiot in the middle of the room in that hospital gown. Jessica couldn't seem focus enough to understand what they were saying so she just stood there planning Killgrave's demise. Suddenly she became aware that both men were looking at her expectantly. Her face scrunched in confusion as she tried to remember what Killgrave had said last. "Go back in the room, Jessica" he repeated "lay down on the bed. You will allow them to put your IV back in"

Jessica's feet followed his instructions without giving her time to even think through his orders. She laid down on the bed and waited impatiently for the IV to be placed again. She noticed with some pleasure that the machines were no longer screeching. She became aware of the sound of soft voices, whispering so she couldn't understand them. Jessica closed her eyes gently. Hoping that the slower her eyelids met the less it would effect the pulsing in her brain. The voices slowly morphed in to what sounded like singing. She wondered idly who was singing so beautifully. When she opened her eyes a man was hovering over her, his voice was full of concern and he looked worried.

"We're going to need to strap her down" he was saying to someone just out of her range of vision.

"Won't do any good. I doubt you have anything that will hold her" a second voice mused "Let me try something". When he came into her field of vision she tensed to attack. "Jessica stop. You will lay still and allow the doctor and nurse to do what they need to."

"Fuck you. I don't have to do what you say" Jessica growled.

Struggling against her traitorous body, Jessica tried to sit up. She tried to move her body away from the woman with the needle. She couldn't even make her middle finger move to flip them all off. The harder she struggled the more her vision was obstructed by the purple fog. She felt her eyes roll up into the back of her head and gave herself over to the fog.

When her eyes fluttered open again Jessica noted that her skin felt like it was on fire, her head was pounding, and she was shaking even though she was under at least three different blankets. "Stay in your bed. Leave your IV and medical monitoring equipment alone. " Killgrave's voice came from the other side of the room. Jessica wanted to ask him why he was bothering her. Why he couldn't he just leave her to die? Her eyes locked with his and he sighed. "Doctor. She's awake" he called, his eyes drifting over to the doorway. Jessica turned to look too and saw the doctor and a woman follow behind him. She appeared to be skittish and stayed at least three feet from Jessica at all times.

The doctor checked her over and asked her questions. Jessica tried to answer but she wasn't sure she was making much sense. The woman, who turned out to be a nurse, brought in some foul smelling food which she rejected immediately. She half expected to Killgrave to demand that she eat it anyways but he didn't. He simply wandered to the side of her bed and placed his hand on her forehead. She flinched and tried to move away but couldn't. "No" she whispered and watched Killgrave sigh and sit down in a chair nearby. "Sleep" he said, his voice dripping with unshed tears. Jessica's eyes closed and she slipped back into the purple fog.

A routine began. If Jessica awoke calm, the doctor would come in and ask her questions and take her vitals. He would bring in food and attempt to get her to eat. If she was frantic, which was much more common, Killgrave would command her into calm stillness, the purple fog taking over her body and clouding her mind. However sometimes she was so out of it she had no idea what was happening and her calmness just served to raise her panic. The machines beeped, singing their beautiful ear piercing songs as she drifted in and out of consciousness.

This went on for what seemed like eternity. Killgrave never left Jessica's side, caring for her like she never thought he was capable. He spoke to her, as if to calm her. Proving to her once and for all that Killgrave never listened because if he had truly wanted to calm Jessica he would have never gone near her. Voices would drift through the door from time to time and attract his attention. If he wanted to speak to someone he would go to the doorway and no further. If he left the room for any reason Jessica didn't notice.

Her time awake was, surprisingly, the better part of her day because when she slipped into unconsciousness her nightmares were so horrific and brutal Jessica wished she would never sleep again. Slowly instead of sleeping for only fifteen minutes at a time she began sleeping longer. Allowing her dreams time to fully form to their horrific completion. Memories mixed and crashed together. Her trip with her parents and her brother was combined with those of Killgrave. She screamed, though she wasn't sure if it was in the her dreamworld or the real world.

On morning Jessica awoke and sat up immediately. She was feeling better than she had in quite a while. The room didn't spin when she sat up, she realised with no small amount of pleasure. Her eyes scanned the room. The pull out bed was made but empty and she was alone in the room for the first time since this whole ordeal started. Her brows furrowed as she tested her limbs. Surprisingly all of them followed her own desires so she turned so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her feet flat on the cool floor. It was no surprise that the doctor bustled in quickly at the sounds of her movements. Jessica looked at him and nodded a greeting. 

Doctor Cutter looked surprised to see Jessica up, much less sitting on her own volition. "How are you feeling?" his low rumbling voice surprised her, like she hadn't been able to hear properly before. "I...better I think" she responded. The doctor called in the nurse and together both doctor and nurse very thoroughly checked Jessica's vitals and symptoms. Her temperature was normal, which was apparently good since she had spiked quite a high fever. Her shaking was minimal and apparently hadn't had any seizures for over 24 hours. Jessica could form full sentences and she was told that they were pleased that she was no longer hell bent on attacking people as soon as they came through the door. The nurse kept her distance and seemed antsy to leave.

"So you're going soon, then?" Jessica asked.

"No. Not quite yet" Dr. Cutter answered quickly but quietly

"Why not?" Jessica was annoyed, they had to get out before Killgrave could realize the medical team was a security risk.

"Do you want to leave?" Cutter's voice was quiet, barely a whisper

"Yes" her answer came before she had a chance to stifle it

"Then I need you to stand. Do it now" his voice was urgent but authoritative.

As Jessica stood the nurse was removing everything except for the IV in a rush. Clearly the nurse knew what was going on too. What the fuck was happening?! Was she escaping with the help of the doctor? "No, he's going to notice. He'll kill you" Jessica whispered. The doctor didn't justify that with a response but seemed to understand the severity of this offense judging by the stress radiating off of him. He reached for the phone and dialed quickly "Let Doctor Kozlov know that the patient is code green" his voice was quiet but precise. Jessica looked at Dr. Cutter with confusion and was going to ask a question before pants were shoved into her hands. The nurse was back and looking at Jessica expectantly.

Suddenly Jessica realised she was still in that awful hospital dress. Quickly she bent over and pulled the pants on. When she stood up the nurse had her fluids bag in hand and helped Jessica pull off the hospital gown and pull on a sleeveless tank. Jessica watched the nurse and doctor move with precision as they moved around the room. Clearly they had this planned from the beginning and Jessica was trying to figure out who would be stupid enough to try and attempt an escape attempt. _Kozlov. I know that name_ she thought to herself, trying to rack her brain to figure out exactly how she knew this. When the doctor came back to Jessica's side she saw something in his hand. It was dark and metal. Immediately she knew what it was and groaned. "Get rid of that in case he comes in here. I don't want you to have to shoot yourself or your pretty friend, over there" Jessica hissed as she glared at the thing with disgust. "No. Now let's go. Quickly, Jones" he snapped and started walking. Jessica growled and decided to take matters into her own hands. She lunged towards the doctor but stood ridged as she felt a hard jab in her back. "Don't think about it Jones" the nurse stated calmly "I will shoot you if you resist"

Jessica turned slowly, a look of annoyance and disbelief on her face. "You just saved my life. No way you would shoot me" she stated, hiding her uncertainty. "Don't test me, Jones" the nurse growled "We're medical professionals and we can treat a gunshot wound. Now, walk! You're slowing us down". Suddenly Jessica was hustled to the door and shoved into the elevator. The nurse stood slightly behind Jessica and held the IV bag and kept her gun trained on Jessica's back. The doctor took point at the front, though off to the side so Jessica would be the only one seen by first look. Jessica was putting the pieces together. Kozlov. Medical Professionals. A rescue attempt. Suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks. This was very _Simpson_ - _esque_. Trish had spoken about a Doctor Kozlov before Simpson lost his shit. This pitiful rescue attempt had to be the same people that caused that cluster fuck.

The feeling of dread washed over Jessica in a way she thought only Killgrave could inspire. Why would these people want her? What could she possibly offer them? Slowly the elevator slowed and the doors slid open. They quickly made their way out the front doors. An ambulance sat in front with an SUV in front and behind. Jessica checked her surroundings carefully. The two with guns near her were only the beginning of her troubles. The people in the ambulance filed out and began readying the back for Jessica with quick precision. The SUV doors opened and a couple of people filed out, barely concealing their weapons. There would be no escape for Jessica for now. Idly she wondered when she'd ever stop being a captive and just be allowed to live her own damn life.

As the heavily armed gunmen were ushering Jessica into the ambulance she heard a male voice call out "Code purple!". Jessica looked over her shoulder and saw Killgrave turn the corner. His head snapped up and she watched the mask of barely controlled anger slip over his face as he became aware of the scene in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's okay to hate me, you know ;)


	10. From A Window Looking In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my beta reader, fixer of mistakes, and cracker of whips Christyflare! She's also slaved over the previous chapters so I'll be updating them as soon as I can. I figured I'd get y'all the next chapter first ;)
> 
> It's been a while so this all will make more sense if you've read the last chapter recently. If you haven't, that might be a good idea. It's not 100% repetition I swear.
> 
> Don't forget I love hearing from my readers. Speculate, suggest events, laugh at my hilarious inserts of my other fandoms. Whatever you think when you're reading! I wanna hear it :)

"HOLY FUCK!"

Kilgrave sat up quickly, the sound of the yelling that pierced his eardrums having woken him from his slumber. His bleary eyes scanned the room for Jessica and was surprised to find her not only awake, but standing. "Jessica? What are you doing up out of bed?" he asked. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the world's most uncomfortable bed. He looked up and was greeted by the face of the love of his life. Normally, he was greeted with Jessica's sneer or sarcastic wit. Instead, he was greeted with a sight he never thought he'd see.

Jessica's beautiful rosy lips were turned up into the biggest smile he'd ever seen. A smile that rivalled any smile he had commanded from her. From her came the most angelic sound he had ever heard. As Jessica's laugh rang in his ears, Kilgrave heard the voices of Dr. Cutter and his nurse. Suddenly, Jessica turned on the doctor and nurse and dropped into a fighting stance. Watching her strong body ready itself for a fight caused Kilgrave to become instantly and painfully erect.

Jessica launched her small, lithe body towards the doctor and his nurse. Doctor Cutter dodged Jessica's tackle, but the nurse wasn't so lucky. They hit the floor with a loud THUD, the nurse's head bouncing off of the floor, leaving her unconscious. Kilgrave watched the young doctor appraise the situation and assumed Cutter would simply leave. Kilgrave was shocked to find that the moron was preparing for a fight. Cutter backed away from Jessica, taking the fight into the living room of the suite. Kilgrave stood to follow but found his fine silk pajamas tented in the front. He rolled his eyes and tried to tame his arousal so he could watch and eventually stop the fight between the doctor and Jessica.

A soft, frustrated groan left Kilgrave's throat as he tried to ease his erection even a little. Jessica surely would use it against him if she saw this. "I can make anyone do literally anything, but I can't get this to go down!" he growled to himself in annoyance. Normally, he'd just take care of it. The situation required his immediate action, however, which didn't leave enough time to take care of his problem. He could hear Jessica's confident voice, and, god help him, it was making this harder in literally every sense. After a few more minutes of trying and failing, Kilgrave decided to simply change into his pants and hope that his boxers and trousers could hide it well enough. He ripped his pajama pants off quickly and pulled on a new pair of boxers and trousers. 

By the time he managed to exit the room, Jessica and Cutter were facing off again. A few of the chairs were askew, and Cutter looked like he was in some pain. _‘Serves him right for taking on a super powered woman,’_ Kilgrave thought to himself with a slight smirk. Unfortunately, he had missed all the fun; things were getting serious. Jessica was sick and seemed to have only a slight grasp on reality, and there was a real chance she could kill the poor sod with one punch. He'd seen it before, and, while he loved watching Jessica's power at its best, he couldn't allow the doctor to die just yet. "Jessica! Stop!" he called out. He watched in pleasure as she fell under his control again. Her eyes sought him out, her fist paused midair, and the look of anger that was on her face was simply breathtaking. "Hands at your side," he said, wanting her to be as comfortable as possible. 

"Where do you need her? She wouldn't _dare_ disobey me," Kilgrave stated as his gaze fell on the doctor. He knew Jessica would understand the warning in that statement; it said, 'Don't fight me on this. I'm trying to help. Fight this order, and this will get worse.' He couldn't help but worry about if and when Jessica would become immune to his gift. He was at maximum power thanks to his waltz down memory lane with his father, but he was worried it wouldn't be enough. Cutter's voice drew Kilgrave out of his reverie. "We're going to need her back in her bed. I need her to stay in the bed and leave her IV in. She's just getting into this, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. This would go easier if you allowed her to wean herself off of the alcohol," Cutter said with a sigh. Kilgrave could feel his anger rising quickly. "There is no way that she will ever touch another drop of alcohol as long as I am alive. Anyone that suggests otherwise will regret it," he snapped at the doctor.

Cutter rubbed the back of his neck, obviously nervous with Kilgrave so angry and turned his attention towards Jessica. "Jessica, I need you back in the room and sitting or laying on the bed," he said gently. When it became obvious that Jessica hadn't heard them, Kilgrave spoke. "Jessica? Go lay down on your bed." Still, she stood there, a glazed look in her eyes. Suddenly, she seemed to snap out of it and looked to Kilgrave for guidance. He smiled, the feeling of happiness spread as he realized that Jessica had turned to him when she was confused and unsure. Surely that meant something was happening between them! How could she deny it? 

"Go back into the room, Jessica," he repeated calmly. "Lay down on the bed. You will allow them to put your IV back in." Both Kilgrave and Cutter followed Jessica as she made her way back to the room without so much as a nod. She laid down on the bed and became increasingly annoyed. Kilgrave watched with some amusement as Jessica laid on the bed looking very annoyed. "How is your nurse, Doctor Cutter?" Kilgrave asked, his voice soft in hopes to not upset Jessica. "She's okay, but she's taking a few moments to sit down and relax. Once she's feeling okay, we're going to get that IV set," Cutter replied and looked towards his nurse, who was sitting in a chair and muttering to herself about not being paid enough. 

Kilgrave chuckled to himself as he watched Cutter. He turned to look at Jessica, only to find her eyes were closed and her whole body was shaking. "Cutter! I think you need to come in here and get that IV in ASAP!" he called with a sense of urgency he hoped the doctor and his nurse took seriously. Cutter and the nurse appeared soon after, and they watched Jessica solemnly. "Joy, I need you to get my bag. We're going to need the whole thing.” As Joy ran off to get the big black bag, Cutter made his way to the side of the bed. 

"We're going to need to strap her down," he said as he leaned over the bed and watched Jessica come out of her seizure. 

Kilgrave resisted the urge to laugh and replied, "Won't do you any good. I doubt you have anything that will hold her. Let me try something." He moved to Cutter's side and made eye contact with Jessica. "Jessica, stop. You will lay still and allow the doctor and nurse to do what they need to." He watched as his words filtered into her mind and her face contorted in anger. "Fuck you!" she spat. "I don't have to do what you say!" Kilgrave then watched with a small amount of glee as Jessica did everything in her power to fight his control. It gave him a sense of security that she didn't seem to be able to even move a finger. Slowly, she wore herself out and slipped into a light sleep. He watched the nurse and doctor place the IV and monitor stickers with no issues. 

With everything back where it needed to be, the doctor and nurse headed back to their room to get a little bit more sleep. Kilgrave sighed as he scraped his fingers through his hair and stood next to Jessica's bed. He stood there for what seemed like forever, just watching her calm breathing. She was a vision, even unconscious and suffering but he couldn't help but hope she would be better soon. He missed her fire, her strength, and he even missed her challenging him. He tucked her in, making sure to add a few extra blankets since she was shivering and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He turned on his heel, grabbed a chair from the dining room, and set it near Jessica's bed. He grabbed a book he had been reading and settled down into the chair. He swore he would be there when she woke up to keep her safe.

 _How long had it been? She's been out for a while now._ Kilgrave turned his attention to the machines near Jessica's head. Their incessant beeping seemed to be the only indication that she was okay. With a sigh, he turned his attention back to his book. After a few more pages, he noticed Jessica stirring. Her eyes slowly opened, but she didn't make any attempts to look around. "Stay in your bed," Kilgrave spoke, his voice soft and gentle. "Leave your IV and medical monitoring equipment alone." He watched as her face twisted in anger yet again, and her eyes slid slowly towards him in a glare that made him happy that looks _couldn’t_ actually kill. He sighed; he couldn't always be the bad guy, could he? "Doctor. She's awake," he called as he turned his attention to the doorway. The dynamic duo had come in often to check on her, and they didn't seem worried about Jessica's unconsciousness, but Cutter did ask to be notified immediately when she awoke. 

Cutter and Joy appeared in the doorway, and Kilgrave laughed softly at Joy's obvious fear of Jessica. Kilgrave stayed only a few minutes longer to make sure that Jessica was staying in the bed. When he was convinced that she wouldn't harm herself or anyone else, Kilgrave went to the dining table to eat some of the food that had been brought up while Jessica was sleeping. As he ate, he could hear the doctor asking Jessica questions. Soon, Joy appeared from the room to get some food for Jessica. The salmon with lemon sauce, wild rice, and fresh vegetables had been chosen by Kilgrave himself to be nutritionally best for his Jessie. Since he was finished eating, he followed the nurse so he could watch Jessica eat her food. He would never admit it, but watching Jessica eat was satisfying for him. Knowing that he was providing her everything, even her sustenance, was a huge turn on for him. Of course, if Jessica ever knew that, she would attempt to never eat the food he chose again, and he couldn't have that. 

Jessica's face twisted in disgust at the mere sight of the food. Quickly, she shoved it away from her and the nurse went to take it away. Kilgrave's hand tightened around the nurse's arm and was about to demand Jessica eat the food when Doctor Cutter made eye contact and shook his head. While usually Kilgrave wouldn't listen to anyone but himself, he decided to talk with the good doctor before making his decision. Dropping his hold on the nurse, he made his way to Jessica's side. He placed a hand softly on her forehead in an attempt to show his affections. He wanted her to know that he was worried and that he cared. Jessica flinched under his soft touch and whispered a strangled, "No." 

The pain and horror in Jessica's voice broke Kilgrave's heart. He hid his pain by turning his back to her, searching out his chai,r and sitting down. He choked back a pathetic sob and instead commanded, "Sleep." He watched her eyes flutter closed, and soon she was breathing softly, obviously given over to his command without any fight. Maybe that bit about not fighting his commands ever actually worked. He decided to keep that in his pocket for later and turned his attention to his book once again. About half an hour later, Jessica woke, but she was frantic. She was attempting to rip out her IV and was scratching her skin as if she wanted to remove it from her body. "Jessica!" Kilgrave called, but she didn't respond. "Stop!" he commanded and walked over to her. "Calm, Jessica, and sleep."

When he was sure she was asleep again, he walked to the room Doctor Cutter was sitting in, reading a medical journal. "Doctor, we need to have a talk," Kilgrave said, waving his hand towards the living room furniture. After sitting in the living room for what felt like years, Cutter entered the room moving at a snail’s pace. "Please," Kilgrave grated through clenched teeth. "Take your time." Immediately, Cutter turned to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water, which he drank slowly, as if the liquid were nectar from the gods themselves. Kilgrave growled at his own stupidity for not choosing his words better and snapped, "Cutter, get in this kitchen _now_ so we can talk." 

Cutter set his almost empty glass on the counter and quickly covered the ground to an empty chair. "What would you like to talk about?" Cutter grumbled. "I want to talk about Jessica. Tell me why I shouldn't force her to eat." Kilgrave tented his fingers under his chin and leaned back in the chair. "Look. While she needs nourishment, forcing her to eat will make things worse. She needs to listen to her body, and if it tells her not to eat, then we need to respect that," Cutter replied in a no-nonsense professional voice. Suddenly, Jessica's strangled cry rang out, and Kilgrave was on his feet and heading to their room before he knew what was happening. The pain etched on her face caused Kilgrave to choke back a sob. How could he have let this happen to her? How could he have let her fall so far? He was incapacitated for most of his stint away from her, but surely there would have been a way to keep her safe. Keep her from falling so far into the bottom of the depths of alcoholism.

"Jessica," he spoke softly as he knelt next to her bed. "Stop. Relax. Sleep, love." Kilgrave stayed long enough to watch her fall under his control again and know that she was unconscious once again before he stood and strode towards the doctor again. "Why won't she just sleep?" he grumbled more to himself than the doctor. "This is common in people going through alcohol withdrawal. She probably won't sleep normally for at least a week if not more. However, in three or four days she should be sleeping at least a few hours at a time," Cutter responded, and added curtly, "This wouldn't have been so bad if she were weaned off." Kilgrave felt his anger flare and turned his burning eyes to Cutter. "So help me god, if I catch her with alcohol ever again, she will regret it, and so will whoever attempts to give her any. Do I make myself clear?" he growled. Cutter raised his hands in defeat. "Crystal," was his only response. 

Deciding to leave before he killed the doctor, Kilgrave made his way back to his room, sat in that infernal chair, and attempted to read his book. Around every fifteen to twenty minutes, Jessica would wake. Sometimes she was lucid, but usually she was in some form of panic. Kilgrave did his best to keep her relaxed, but sometimes she was so out of it, his commands didn't do much other than stop her physical thrashing. A few times, he tried to soothe her physically, a hand on her arm or brushing her hair out of her face, but it always ended with Jessica shying away from him and making him feel like he wanted to throw something across the room. Eventually, he learned to keep his distance. He found that Jessica was calmer if he was far away and just commanded her from a distance. It hurt him in more than one way knowing that she was literally so horrified of him that even when she needed the most help, she would not accept any from him. What had he done to deserve her hatred? Some fear was good to have, even he understood that his wrath was easily incurred, but this was beyond the pale. It also disturbed him to see his Jessica no longer sassy and strong, but broken and afraid. Even though her pushing and defiance was enough to drive him mad, it was so much better than this. He needed her healthy and strong again. He needed her to fight him. He couldn't wait until things were right again and she was driving him up the wall.

At dinner time, Jessica roused and was fairly lucid, so Doctor Cutter and Joy came in to ask her questions. Kilgrave took this time to take a shower and grab a bite to eat in the kitchen. When he was finished eating, he brought Jessica her dinner, not missing the glare the doctor gave him when the plate was taken from him. "Jessica," Cutter said softly, rousing Jessica from the light sleep she had fallen into. "Are you hungry? I have some food here, and I'd like it very much if you tried to eat it." Jessica looked at the food as if it were garbage and grunted, "Get that shit away from me." Cutter gave Jessica an annoyed look and said, "I want you to take two bites. You choose what, but you need _some_ food in your system to get better faster. You want to get better and get out of here, don't you?" That seemed to convince her to try to eat. Kilgrave watched with self assured pleasure as Jessica ate more than a few bites. He made a mental note to see if she liked chicken fettuccini alfredo and peas when she wasn't delirious from withdrawal. When half of the food was eaten, Jessica could barely keep her eyes open. Kilgrave stood from his chair and took the plate from her. "How are you feeling, Jessie?" he asked sweetly. Jessica glared at Kilgrave, but before she could deliver her scathing reply, she was claimed by sleep. 

The next day passed about the same. The doctor and nurse were feeling positive on how Jessica was improving, but seemed to be slightly more stressed when he was around. Jessica still wasn't sleeping much better, but Cutter was steadfast in his belief that this was normal and would slowly go away the better she got. The nurse would come in and add things to Jessica's IV occasionally and kept up the bags of fluids. The doctor's infernal phone was ringing off the hook, and it was driving Kilgrave mad. At one point, he stood up and stood at the doorway so that Cutter would hear him. "If you're going to be on the phone, you can leave the room if you want. Turn your phone on vibrate, for the love of god, and stop making so much racket!" he growled and moved to his bed to lounge. It wasn't bad enough that the medical equipment was so blasted loud, but the doctor's phone had been so maddening, he was surprised that both nurse and doctor managed to come out unscathed. Jessica wouldn't approve of his harming her doctor, though, and that had a lot to do with why neither of those infernal people had yet to incur his wrath. Soon, Jessica woke screaming, horror written on her face as her eyes focused on the room and scanned the surroundings as she stifled her whimpers of fear. "Jessica?" Kilgrave asked hopefully. Yet again disappointed by her shying away from him and panic starting to rise again. "Lay down and go back to sleep," he growled. Normally, he'd allow her the chance to be awake, but he couldn't help his pain and the way he reacted.

Another day was upon them, and Kilgrave was starting to see the changes in Jessica. Her seizures had all but stopped, and she was sleeping better, often not even requiring Kilgrave's commands to get her to sleep. When she was awake, she was aware of things going on around her and even had a little of her flair back. She was eating much better, thank god, and he hoped it would continue even past her withdrawal stage. While she was awake, Kilgrave stayed in the room. He wanted to take care of her, even if she acted like she didn't want or need it. When she slept, he would take a shower, eat, and watch some TV. The doctor didn't need to be as close, so he was taking care of more business over the phone, and the nurse seemed to stay in the second room and didn't make much conversation. That suited Kilgrave just fine, as he absolutely hated small talk. That is, unless it was with Jessica. At dinner, Kilgrave and Jessica ate at the same time. Jessica seemed to have a renewed desire for food, which pleased Kilgrave to no end. When they were finished eating, Kilgrave took the plates and placed them in the hall. Kilgrave found Cutter in the living room watching some shit reality show. "Cutter, with Jessica doing better, I want to go around and grab some things in the morning. I'll need you to stay with her while I'm gone," Kilgrave commanded before he turned on his heel and headed to his bed. He was ready to grab the things he needed to create Jessica's party. They would celebrate her health tomorrow night in style and hopefully could say goodbye to the doctor and nurse soon after. As he laid in his bed, preparing for sleep, Kilgrave mentally made a list of everything he would need for their dinner.

The next morning, Kilgrave woke early, ordered breakfast from room service, and took a shower. When he was done in the shower, he found Jessica still sleeping soundly, so he dressed and ate his breakfast at the dining room table. Kilgrave alerted the doctor that he was leaving and left the building. He hailed a cab and spoke when he sat in. "You'll be driving me today, and you'll take me wherever I need to go for free," Kilgrave spoke quickly, not waiting for the cabbie to open his mouth. "Now, take me to this address." He handed the driver a piece of paper with an address scrawled across it. His shopping only took an hour, and on their way back, they passed a jewellery store. Struck by inspiration, Kilgrave ordered the cabbie to take his bags to the service entrance of the hotel and walked into the jewellery store. The choices were exquisite, and he was sure his choice would look fabulous on Jessica. He wondered when Jessica would be ready to accept the gift. With a shrug, he placed the black box into his suit jacket pocket and quickly made his way back to the hotel. He had already been gone far too long and was anxious to get back.

Noise. The city seemed to be noisier now than it had been when he left. The sound of voices was almost overwhelming; their frantic tones set his teeth on edge. What could possibly be worth all that stress? As he turned the corner, he knew immediately why the people sounded so stressed. In front of their hotel was an ambulance. Usually, this would not bother him in the least, but its back doors were open, and standing in the back was Jessica. SUVs sat in front of and behind of the ambulance, and their doors were opening hastily. Armed gunmen poured out of the vehicles and pointed their weapons in Kilgrave's direction. With one last glance at Jessica to make sure she was safe, Kilgrave allowed his rage to boil over. He felt the heat rise to his face as he moved quickly on his feet. He needed to get Jessica away, to keep both of them safe from whatever unknown force this was. "STOP!" he screamed and waited for them to comply. When it was clear that the men from the SUVs were under his control, Kilgrave moved towards them, always keeping an eye on Jessica. "Well, well. What do we have here?" he asked, his voice dangerously quiet. "Where is Cutter? Show yourself!" he growled and scanned the vehicles in front of him. Slowly, Cutter emerged from behind the ambulance. His steps were strained, as if it pained him.

"What's this? You dare try to fight my control? Interesting! So, tell me. How are you capable of even attempting to fight my commands?" Kilgrave growled.

"I… I've taken a serum" Cutter spoke softly, his head bowed in shame.

"Is that so? And where did you get this serum?"

"The people I work for. They said it would work. I don't know where it came from," came Cutter's answer.

"Well that's unfortunate. Now you all have to die."

Kilgrave watched the faces of those around him as they processed his words. He loved watching those caught in his web realise they were well and truly fucked. After basking in the fear of his enemies, he placed his hands in his pockets, rolled up onto the balls of his feet and smiled at them. "Right, well. Where to start? First, Cutter. Who do you work for?" he spoke and turned his attention to the doctor. The doctor seemed to wrestle for a few moments before he spoke, his voice strained "Kozlov." His answer was cut off as a gunshot rang out. Cutter crumpled to the ground, his blood spraying across Kilgrave's suit. Kilgrave quickly schooled his face into impartiality, striding towards Jessica with a new sense of urgency. "Everyone with guns," he snapped, attempting to gain control once again. "Point them at another person with a gun." Another gunshot rang out, and pieces of the building just beside Kilgrave shot out around him as a bullet embedded itself into the stone edifice. 

Kilgrave quickly made his way closer to the men with guns, heading towards the ambulance. Originally, he was going to take Jessica and walk to find their own car, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He had to get himself and Jessica to safety, and being out in the open was not the best choice right now. "You, person behind Jessica. If you have a gun or any kind of weapon toss it onto the ground safely and get into the driver's seat. Await my next instructions there. Jessica..." A gunshot rang out again, only this time it was accompanied by blinding pain. "Fuck!" he called out and fell to his knees. "You. Get me to the ambulance. Shield me with your body," Kilgrave grated out, clutching his left shoulder, trying to stem the blood. The armed guard Kilgrave had made eye contact with quickly made his way to Kilgrave's side and picked him up. The shooting stopped immediately, and Kilgrave was suddenly aware that the other agents were still awaiting his orders. He would have to get rid of every single one of these people so that they couldn't report back, but there was the issue of the gunman that obviously wasn’t being controlled. 

It dawned on him suddenly that there were clearly snipers. They knew too much about his powers for him to be comfortable. Kilgrave grunted as the agent set him into the back of the ambulance. “Shoot the person you've got your gun pointed at. If you are still alive after being shot, shoot yourself until you're dead,” Kilgrave spoke quickly but loudly. “Now, you. Get into the passenger side of the ambulance and wait for my further instructions.” The deafening sounds of gunfire echoed through the maze of buildings as Kilgrave watched the scene before him. He had to make sure that every last one of the people here followed his order. Not only for his safety, but also to know if the serum worked. If there was a way to negate his powers, he needed to know, fast. “Jessica, be a dear and help me onto that gurney.” Kilgrave pointed towards the gurney locked into place in the back of the ambulance. Jessica rolled her eyes as her body followed his orders immediately. She picked him up and dropped him unceremoniously onto the bed, and Kilgrave could have sworn he saw a smirk on her face when he grunted in pain. “Close the back doors, Jessica, and then sit down and buckle up. Driver, get us out of here once Jessica is buckled up.”

Grabbing his phone out of his inner jacket pocket, Kilgrave made a few calls to prepare for their unplanned trip and turned his attention to Jessica once everything was taken care of. “How are you feeling, love?” he asked. Jessica looked at Kilgrave and replied, “Like shit. Thanks for forcing me to go through this.” Kilgrave rolled his eyes and groaned as he turned away from Jessica. He did _not_ have the strength to deal with her nonsense right now. He had saved her from being taken. He had taken a bullet in the process, and all she could think about was being upset that he helped her through her alcohol withdrawal?! She never ceased to amaze and shock him. “Driver. Take us to the largest mall. Once Jessica and I are out of the vehicle, I want you to drive to a secluded alley far away from the mall. Passenger, once you are in the alley, you will shoot the driver dead once and then shoot yourself in the head. Neither of you will contact or speak with anyone.” Kilgrave spoke through gritted teeth. The pain was unbearable, and soon the rush of adrenaline that was keeping him in control would leave him and he’d be vulnerable. “Jessica,” he whispered. “When we're at the mall, if I'm incapable of getting us a ride, you need to find us a car and get us back to the boat. The doctor is waiting for us on the boat.” With that, Kilgrave laid his head back and tried to rest before they made it to the mall.

As expected, the mall was jammed with people. Gregarious, inane, useless wastes of space and oxygen that were bustling about their pointless lives completely oblivious to the fact that their pitiful existences meant nothing. Kilgrave easily commandeered a vehicle and driver to take them to the boat. Walking to the car had been a harrowing experience, as every step vibrated directly to his shoulder. Somehow, no one had noticed he was bleeding or that Jessica had an IV plus a bag of fluids. _Stupid people, so unobservant and idiotic._ Though, now was no time to be upset by that. It had worked out to their advantage this time. With the driver commanded to drop them off and then drive his car off the nearest pier and go down with his vehicle, Kilgrave felt his focus shifting. He was tired, his vision blurred, his breathing shallow. _‘Shit,’‘Almost there. Then we'll get this bullet out and everything will be better._

Somehow, they were already at the docks. Kilgrave managed to make it to the deck of their boat before needing Jessica's help. He was telling people what to do. What was he saying? No matter, he knew what needed to happen, and he was sure even in his impaired state that he would handle the situation. The boat would go, with no destination in mind yet. They needed to get away from this city, no, from the U.S. altogether. It was clear they were being watched and followed, and they needed to nip that in the bud. They would not be safe until they were back under the radar. Presently, the doctor was speaking to him. “Sir? I need to get you into surgery. We need to get that bullet out and stop the bleeding.” 

“Very well, but you will not put me under. Local anesthetic only. Remove the bullet. Stop the bleeding. Sew me up. Nothing else unless I say. Do you understand?” He watched the doctor nod her head in acquiescence. “Good, do you have your equipment?” Another wordless head bob in agreement. “Get your scalpel and cut your eye out,” he commanded. There was no way he was trusting this doctor until he was absolutely, one hundred percent sure she was totally under his control. With a horrified look, the doctor turned to her bag and retrieved a scalpel. Slowly, hands shaking, she moved the sharp instrument towards her right eye. She blinked rapidly and took in shaky breaths as she prepared to remove her own eye. Only a second before the implement touched her eye, Kilgrave barked out,“Stop! Doctor, do the surgery but follow my instructions to the letter. Do you understand?” The doctor nodded silently one more time, helped her patient over to the makeshift surgery table, and helped him up. Kilgrave gritted his teeth together as he watched the doctor dig into her bag. He knew this would be very unpleasant.


	11. Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kilgrave and Jessica narrowly escaped the attempted kidnapping and Kilgrave is harmed. His gunshot wound is taken care of under the watchful eye of Jessica. After which Jessica promptly falls asleep and things go sideways rather quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Life is sucky but I made sure the chapter was acceptable before posting it for you. There are graphic depictions of both rape and self harm in this chapter. I have updated the tags to include this. Just an FYI for those that it could trigger.
> 
> Smut and angst galore!!!

Everything seemed brighter. Sounds were louder and colours were more vibrant. Being totally and fully sober hit Jessica hard. How had she allowed Kilgrave to drag her down into the bottle that far? She stood, eyes unseeing as her brain reeled at the sudden sharpness of her senses. "Jessica!" the voice of her tormentor tore her from her introspection. "What?" she growled and leveled a hateful glare at the man laid on his back, blood-stained shirt cut open to allow the rent-a-doctor access to his wound. She wanted to sneer and tell him how much she hoped he was suffering, but she knew better. She had _learned_ better. That thought disgusted her. What was she? A dog? Had she been trained to act to please him? No matter the amount of anger she felt inside her, the statement stayed in her throat. She knew that pissing him off now could end in pain for herself or, more likely, some poor bastard stuck on this hunk of floating metal with them.

 

" _Jessica!_ ” the voice ground out again. She crossed her arms across her chest to show that she was listening despite herself. "I want you to stay here. Watch the doctor, and if she does anything other than what I command her to, you are to deal with her. Do you understand?" Kilgrave spoke obviously wanting her to repeat her orders so he knew she had heard and would comply. She rolled her eyes. Did she understand? Of course she understood! She spoke goddamn English, didn't she? "Answer me verbally, Jessica. I have no time for your insolence right now! Do. You. Understand?" Kilgrave ground out through his clenched teeth.

 

"Yes. I understand," came her response. "I will watch the doctor and deal with her if she deviates from your commands." Satisfied with her understanding, Kilgrave looked to the doctor and told her _exactly_ what he wanted her to do. He was very specific to ensure that she would only do the minimum necessary and nothing extra. Jessica watched with poorly veiled glee as the nerve-blocking shots were given. Watching his face twist in pain as he attempted to swallow his screams of pain gave Jessica a sick feeling of happiness. Once the doctor was sure that the nerves were blocked, she began operating. Jessica watched, feeling slightly annoyed at not being allowed to relax or even sit down. Even with her superpowers and faster than normal healing, she was already feeling tired. Whether it was from the recent rush of adrenaline or from her unwelcomed sobriety she couldn't tell, but she was feeling damn tired.

 

The surgery took longer than Jessica could have ever imagined. Kilgrave was in a foul mood the whole time, and the doctor was clearly glad to be done. The wound was stitched up quickly and efficiently so that the doctor could take her leave as soon as humanly possible. The directions for the medication to control Kilgrave's pain were given to both Kilgrave and Jessica, as Kilgrave was a little out of it. The doctor turned to leave, and Kilgrave called for her to stop. When she had stopped walking and turned towards him with a look of pure horror, Kilgrave spoke again. "You will not tell anyone about this. As a matter of fact, never speak of today again." And with that, he turned from her, obviously dismissing her. The doctor moved quickly, vacating the boat as fast as her feet would carry her. Jessica watched Kilgrave speak softly to a person on board who quickly made their way off the boat too. Jessica hoped that the poor doctor made it out of this situation alive. With a quick sigh, Jessica looked at the bottle of pills in her hand. "Alright Kilgrave, time to take your medicine," she said and shook the bottle to get his attention.

 

Kilgrave gave the nondescript bottle a disgusted look and replied quickly, "Absolutely not. I have no way of knowing what that is, and I have no intention of actually taking it." Jessica knew that without the pain medication, Kilgrave would be more insufferable than normal, and she refused to allow him to be bitchier than he usually was. Hell, maybe the medication would actually help him remove the stick that was perpetually up his ass. "I fucking refuse to deal with you while you're in pain when it can be easily solved by you not being an ass and just taking a tiny pill. Take the damn pill, or I'll force it down your throat," she growled. She held the pill in front of his face with a no-nonsense look plastered on her face. "Besides, you forced me to go through a life-threatening alcohol withdrawal, so you can take this fucking pain medicine so you don't kill someone just because you're testy." She watched various emotions flit across Kilgrave's face as he obviously weighed his options. Obviously, she couldn't force him to take the medication if he _really_ didn't want her to, but she'd do everything she could to make him ingest it. Slowly, a smile spread across Kilgrave's face. He opened his mouth to speak, but changed his mind and simply took the pill from Jessica's hand and swallowed it without another word.

 

 _‘Thank god!’_ Jessica thought to herself as she put the bottle of pills in her pocket, turned on her heel, and headed to the bedroom. The adrenaline that had been pumping in her veins from the _excitement_ from the morning had worn out halfway through the surgery, and she was crashing hard. The only thing keeping her eyes open was Kilgrave's command that she preside over the surgery to ensure his safety. She toed off her shoes and fell unceremoniously onto the bed, arms and legs splayed in every direction as exhaustion dragged her into unconsciousness.

 

Jessica sat up in bed. She was confused for a few moments, unsure of where she was. The room was large and furnished in red and gold finery. The curtains that were pulled elegantly from the windows swayed as a cool breeze made its way through the room. _'What the fuck?'_ she thought to herself as she surveyed her surroundings. A noise drew her attention away from the room. She leapt to her feet, falling into a defensive position as her keen eyes scanned for the source. A face she knew came into view, and Jessica felt her mouth drop open. No, it couldn't be. "Luke?" she asked cautiously, worried her eyes were playing tricks on her. His face broke into a smile and he laughed, an honest full-bellied laugh. "Yeah, of course. Who else would it be?" he asked in a teasing tone. Incredulously, Jessica made her way towards the large man, her eyes still scanning the room for signs of danger. Surely Kilgrave set this up. What would it be this time? Would Luke inform on her? Would he taunt her only to tell her how much of a piece of shit she was? Would he kill her in her sleep?

 

She watched Luke close the distance between them, and his hand found its way onto her cheek. "You feeling okay?" he asked, the worry on his face sending Jessica a sharp pang of shame. "Yeah," she responded. "Just fine." She turned from him and strode to the bed in search of her shoes. She needed to get out of there. As she reached for her shoes, Luke's strong arms reached around her middle and pulled her to his chest. "Stop," he commanded. "Why do you always do this? I don't want you running again. Stop hiding from your feelings." His deep voice sent a shiver up Jessica's spine, and she took a few selfish moments to enjoy the way his chest vibrated against her. "I'm not running from anything," she lied and broke his hold on her. She swept her shoes up quickly and strode from Luke as fast as she could in a bid to get her shoes on and get the fuck out of there. _'Jesus! I killed his fucking wife! How could he not hate me?!’_ she thought to herself as she sat and started pulling the shoes on. Suddenly, the shoes were removed from her feet and tossed out the nearest window. "Oh, nice. Real mature Luke," Jessica ground out, her irritation with the situation consuming her. _'I'm a fucking monster. A piece of shit. He deserves way fucking better than me,'_ she thought to herself as she stood to leave barefoot. She didn't have unbreakable skin like the man in front of her, but she'd live.

 

Jessica made her way to the door as fast as she could, hearing Luke hot on her heels. She didn't care, she just needed to get out of there. Maybe find a good stiff drink to purge her mind of the memories of her darkest day and self-hatred from her mind. Suddenly, Jessica found herself pushed up against the door, her back pressed almost painfully against the wooden barrier. Luke stood in front of her, his large hands on either side of her head, pinning her in. "Jessica! Stop it!" he spoke through clenched teeth. "What the hell are you running from? Is it me? Are you that ashamed to be with me?!" Tears welled in Jessica's eyes. _'Is that what he thinks? How could he not know he's too good for me?'_ she thought to herself. Desperation to get away bubbled over, and she pushed against Luke's chest with all her might. Luke grunted but didn't move an inch. He growled in frustration and gathered Jessica's hands in his own. He lifted them above her head and secured both wrists in one of his large hands. "No!" he yelled. "You will answer me! You don't get to run this time!"

 

Defeated, Jessica stopped struggling and let out a shaky sigh. "Luke. I'm not ashamed of you. How could you even think that? You...You're way too good for me. Every time we're together, I'm reminded just how good you are. I don't deserve you. I feel guilty every time we are together. I'm dragging you down with me." The look on Luke's face was utter shock. He remained silent and Jessica whispered, "I'm tainting you, Luke. Can't you see it?"

 

The look of shock on Luke's face morphed into anger. "Tainting me? Are you fucking serious?" he spat, his grip on her wrists tightening. "Jesus, Jessica! What the fuck? You think you're the only one who's done bad shit? Do you really think so lowly of yourself Jessica?" His free hand stroked down her cheek gently, his eyes trying to convey how much he cared for her. Slowly, his head dipped towards her, his gaze locked onto her lips. With one last glance into her eyes, his lips pressed to hers. The kiss was gentle and loving, Luke's soft lips pressed to Jessica's. Her breath hitched and her eyes fluttered shut as she gave herself into the lust that was coursing through her veins. When he broke the kiss, his eyes sought out hers, his pupils blown wide with lust. "Jessica," he spoke, his voice husky with desire. "You are not a piece of shit. You are not _tainting_ me. I want you, no. I _need_ you. I know you've been through some shit, but I want to be with you and help you through it. Please. _Please_ , Jessica! I need you to understand. You're important, and I need you in my life."

 

Jessica surged forward, pressing her lips to Luke's, her hands still pinned above her. Luke groaned in pleasure and responded immediately, giving his full attention to the kiss. His tongue slowly moved across her lower lip, silently asking for entrance. Luke dropped his hold on Jessica's wrists, as he was fairly certain she was no longer attempting to flee. His large hands clasped her waist tightly and pulled her hips against his own as he ground his now hardened member against her clothed center. " _This_ is what you do to me Jessica," he growled against her lips. He sprinkled kisses from her jaw, down her throat, and nipped at the junction between her neck and shoulder, drawing a moan from Jessica. Her hands found their way under his shirt and danced across his strong middle. Luke slowly walked Jessica towards the bed, backing her up so that her knees were against the edge of it. "I'm going to prove to you just how much I need you. I'm going to prove just how good we are together," he spoke seductively into her ear. Jessica mewled in response as Luke pushed her onto the bed. His heated gaze took in Jessica's body as he slowly prowled up her body, like a predator stalking its prey. When his body was flush with hers, his lips sought out hers again, taking possession of her mouth in a way only he could. His strong hands slipped under her shirt, playing with her now pert nipples as he swallowed the cries of passion that escaped her lips. Gently and achingly slowly, his hand moved down her stomach, towards the button of her jeans. His tongue thrust into her mouth as he popped the button open, and Jessica caught his lower lip between her teeth, tugging gently.

 

Suddenly, Luke was ripping her clothes off. Shirt, bra, pants, and underwear all removed in the span of a few seconds. The tattered remains fell into a pile on the floor. She laid naked under him, his eyes scraping up her naked body in clear appreciation. "God, Jessica, you are divine," he moaned. His finger twirled around her belly button slowly. It travelled to one hip and then the other, achingly slow. Jessica bucked her hips up in a silent plea for Luke to touch her heated core. "Patience, Jessica," Luke replied, a smirk spread across his face. Jessica growled in annoyance and was about to reach for his hand and force it to her soaked pussy when she moaned at a sudden pressure on her swollen clit. Her hips bucked again in a bid to create the movement she needed to find her climax. Luke's calloused fingers moved towards her entrance, spreading the wetness he found there up to her clit. Jessica groaned in pleasure and whispered "Please, Luke. Nngh please! I need to feel you inside me." Her pleading eyes locked with his and she ground against his hand. Luke leaned in, his lips brushing against her ear. "First I want to taste you," he whispered seductively and kissed down the length of her body before flattening his tongue and laving it from entrance to clit. He smirked against her core at the feral sound of pleasure. Jessica's eyes fluttered shut, and she laid back, her breathing speeding up at the pleasure coursing through her.

 

Slowly, her eyes opened, but she realised that something was different. The ceiling had changed, and there was a sound of water. The sickening rocking of a boat invaded her senses next as her breathing calmed. Her core was soaked, her fingers wet with her arousal. She sat up and looked around her. She was in the yacht, spread out on the bed she shared with her kidnapper. Her pants and underwear were around her ankles, and her right hand had been rubbing her swollen clit. Jessica groaned in annoyance, trying to ignore the low pulse in her lower regions that begged for her to continue. A wet dream? Really? Her brain was a sick fuck for bringing up the good times like that. Making her realise that she had it good for once in her life, and she fucked it up. Well, to be fair, it was fucked up before it even happened. She had killed Luke's wife and was trying to make it right. _'Good job, Jones,'_ she thought to herself with an eye roll. Still, she had fallen for him all the same. Jesus, when did she realise this? When did she realise that she had fallen for that indestructible mountain of a man? Not that it mattered. She loved a man she would never see again. Jessica sat up to pull up her pants and became aware of another presence.

 

Slowly, her head turned towards the chair in the room. She locked eyes with Kilgrave, who sat in the chair with a sick smile plastered on his face. "My, what a dream that must have been!" he exclaimed and adjusted himself in an obvious manner. Her eyes flicked to the hard member tenting his pants and her face twisted in disgust. "Fuck off," she growled and gripped her pants, hoisting them up her legs. "What? Don't want to finish? If I recall, you quite enjoy reaching your peak. Honestly, why deny yourself?" Jessica examined his statement, looking for any commands before she allowed her mouth to work to reply. When she didn't answer, Kilgrave continued speaking, his voice thick with lust "Normally, I'd give you what you're clearly craving, but with this wound," he gestured in annoyance to his shoulder, "I can't really help _fill the position_. I can, however, help you reach your peak. You get your orgasm, and I get quite the show. What do you say, Jessica?" Jessica groaned in annoyance and gripped her pants. "There's no way in hell I would ever orgasm with you anywhere near me," she snapped and regretted it immediately when she saw anger cloud his eyes. "Stop, Jessica. Leave the pants off. While you're at it, remove all of your clothes and toss them on the floor." Jessica's limbs obeyed immediately, and Jessica found herself naked in front of her enemy, glaring daggers at him from the bed. "Good girl,” he praised. “Now lay back, love, and spread your legs. Let me see you. I want to see how wet you are." Her head laid back onto the pillows as her legs spread, giving Kilgrave an unhindered look at her glistening sex.

 

He groaned out loud and stood up, trailing a finger from her abdomen to her pert nipples. "You are simply divine, Jessica," he praised and played with her nipple. A shiver ran up her spine as she heard those words that Luke had praised her with come from Kilgrave; her disgust was soul-crushing. Clearly misinterpreting her reaction, Kilgrave's face split into a smile, and he groped her breasts mercilessly, moving from one side to the other with his hand. "Touch yourself, Jessica," he commanded huskily. Jessica's jaw clenched as her hand snaked down her stomach, towards her exposed center. Why couldn't she examine his commands like she had always done? How did he not realise that she was disgusted by him? She opened her mouth to speak, but Kilgrave interrupted her. "Jessica, answer me honestly. Do you want to cum?" Jessica growled out "Yes, but..."

 

"No buts, Jessica! You're always so selfless. You deserve to get the things you want. A little self-satisfaction is hardly a guilty pleasure. I want you to touch yourself. Get yourself to the edge of your orgasm, but you cannot cum until I say you can," he spoke and pulled hard on her nipple to make sure he had her full attention. Jessica whined in frustration and shame as her fingers circled her engorged clit, driving her to a pleasure she may not even be allowed. Memories surfaced, reminding her of punishments Kilgrave inflicted, he would punish her by keeping her on edge for hours. It was torture of the worst kind, and this was shaping up to be quite the torture session. If he asked what her dream was about, she was sure he would punish her, even though she had no control over the situation. A moan escaped her tightly clamped lips, and Kilgrave reveled in it. "Don't fight it, Jessica. I want to hear your delicious sounds. Don't hide those from me," his voice drifted over her, unclenching her jaw and allowing an obscenely loud moan to escape from her.

 

"That's it. Good girl!" he praised and moved towards her spread legs. Without a word, he sat down between her legs and ran a finger around her opening, playing with the slickness that came from it. "Oh, so wet," he growled and slipped a finger into her dripping pussy. Her channel gripped on to his finger and pulled it in further as Jessica mewled softly. Slowly, he added a second finger and dragged them along that spongy spot inside her. She gasped and bucked her hips towards his invading fingers, her fingers rubbing faster. The tightness in her stomach was winding tighter, the fire spreading from her groin was all-consuming. Burning her every nerve in an insatiable desire to reach her release. It egged her on, her fingers moving even faster and hips bucking against Kilgrave's regrettably skilled fingers.

 

Jessica whined, trying to swallow the words clawing up her throat. "Please," she gasped. "Please, I need to cum." Jessica was ashamed with how needy and breathy she sounded. "Not yet, love," Kilgrave spoke and moved his fingers inside her faster. "No, I want you to vibrate with need before I even think about allowing you such a pleasure." Jessica rolled her eyes and stopped rubbing herself. She knew it would end up like this; Kilgrave always ended up on a power trip. "No, you will continue to rub your clit. You will ask me every time you reach the edge of your orgasm. Ask nicely enough, and maybe I'll let you come sooner rather than later."

 

A sheen of sweat was forming over Jessica's body. She could feel her muscles clenching around Kilgrave's fingers in an attempt to reach ecstasy but every time she reached a peak her body refused to detonate. “I'm on the edge,” she spoke, her voice sounding like it belonged to someone else. She was disgusted by it. She wanted to bite off her own tongue instead of giving Kilgrave what he wanted, but the haze of pleasure demanded she continue begging like a stray dog begs for scraps. “Not yet,” came Kilgrave’s amused reply. Jessica's eyes lifted to the man before her and she longed to painfully kill him. She imagined him unable to speak, writhing in pain, and begging with his eyes to be spared. She reached another crest, her mouth alerted Kilgrave without her permission, and he refused her again. She rode through five more crests, her pleas becoming more frantic and needy. They were coming closer together and she feared she may actually explode if she didn't cum soon. “Oh, _fuck_ Kilgrave, _please_! I need to cum so badly, she whined breathily. “Oh god, please let me cum.” She held his eye contact and watched as he smiled widely. “Such a nice girl, asking so politely. Are you going to cum with my fingers in your slippery cunt?” he asked, pressing her G-spot to accentuate his point. “Oooohhhh fuck, yes!” she cried out and ground against his fingers.

 

Kilgrave leaned towards Jessica, continuing his ministrations, and whispered in her ear, “You're mine, Jessica. Now cum.” Immediately, Jessica's body responded, and she plunged into one of the most intense orgasms of her life. Her vision blurred, she wailed in ecstasy, and, to her great dismay, she felt a rush wetness drench Kilgrave’s hand and the bed beneath her. Kilgrave was speaking, though what exactly he was saying was beyond Jessica as her heartbeat pounded in her ears. When she regained some composur,e she saw Kilgrave licking his fingers greedily and looking down at Jessica with pure desire. “Sit up,” he commanded and traded places with Jessica. He leaned against the headboard and undid his pants, releasing his engorged cock and stroking it leisurely. “Straddle me,” came his next command, and Jessica clamored onto his lap like a lovesick puppy.

 

He rubbed his cock along her slick folds and groaned in pleasure. “Hands on my shoulders. I want you to ride me. Fuck me until we cum together,” he growled and bit down on her neck hard. Jessica moaned despite herself and lowered her pussy onto his length. They both groaned at the sensation of filling and being filled. Jessica was trying desperately to get her mouth to work. To demand he stop using his powers on her to force her into sex, but she couldn't speak over the pounding rhythm her body had set. Her hands reached up into Kilgrave’s shoulders for balance, and Jessica found herself wanting to dig her fingers into his wound. She longed to cause him pain and found herself shocked when her finger pressed into his wound and dug in hard enough to draw a cry of pain from him. She watched in detached shock as his stitches began to rip under the pressure of her digits, blood oozing down his bare chest. “JESSICA! Be more careful!” he growled. “Hands on my thighs!”

 

Jessica was ecstatic! She hurt him. Her goddamned body listened to her command, and she smiled at the realization that Kilgrave had forgotten to renew one of his original commands that she not harm him. Oh, this was perfect. He was so lost in his lust that Jessica figured he didn't know her slip up had been intentional. Revenge. The need for it consumed her completely, eclipsing almost every other desire. She was so close to revenge she could damn well taste it. She can feel Kilgrave tensing underneath her. _‘Good,’_ she thought. _‘Once he's done, I can snap his neck like a twig and be done with this nightmare.’_ “Jessica,” came Kilgrave's strained voice. “I need you to cum. Cum hard!” he growled. In a haze of confusion, Jessica felt herself detonate around Kilgrave’s hardened member, even though she had been nowhere near orgasm just a few moments ago. Her head swam in a post-orgasmic fog, and she only barely heard Kilgrave’s grunts of pleasure as he reached his own peak. Her pussy clenched around his cock, dragging their pleasure out to the fullest length before they collapsed into a heap. Jessica tried to show her breathing, hoping she could recover before her kidnapper so she could exact her revenge swiftly.

 

Unfortunately, Kilgrave recovered first. His breathing slow and rhythmic, and his body no longer covered in a sheen of sweat. “Sleep, Jessica. Close your eyes and get some more rest. When you wake up, I want you to stay below deck; our destination is going to be an awesome surprise,” he spoke softly into her hair. She grumbled softly to herself but complied to his command immediately. As she slipped into the darkness, she heard Kilgrave stand and pad softly out of the room. It took every fiber in her body not to yell threats at him. To not swear to watch him suffer by her own hands. As she slipped into a fitful sleep, she imagined all the punishments she could use on Kilgrave, after she removed his tongue, that is.

 

Jessica woke with a start; her dreams had turned to nightmares as they usually did. Only this time, Luke was the star of the show instead of her long-deceased family. Of course, it had all been her fault; it always was. With a grumble, Jessica stood from the bed and tried to get her racing heart to slow. Her breathing was speeding up, and she was starting to feel lightheaded. Pacing in the small room, Jessica tried various techniques she had learned at her useless time in therapy. As always, none of the techniques worked, and she found her feet taking her to her secret stash of liquor. Jesus, she had only been back on the boat for less than a day, and she was already desperate enough to chance getting caught. By now, her breathing was coming out in short pants, if she wasn't careful, she would pass out. Her skin was on fire, crawling with an unnamed need that clawed at her to be sated. She growled in frustration and quickly took out a bottle at random. She opened it quickly and chugged for all she was worth. It was at this point that Jessica realised she was still naked. That realization sent her into a tailspin unlike any before. Images flashed in her mind. Memories from a long time ago and recent events clashed in a sick reminder of how many times Kilgrave had taken her against her will and she had _liked it_. 

 

It would be one thing if she had fought tooth and nail, tried to attack him or maimed him, but no. He always got what he wanted, her full participation, including having her orgasm. Making her enjoy her own rape was a sick torture of its own. Did he know he was slowly driving her out of her mind? Did he even care? With another frustrated growl, she took a few more large swallows of the contraband liquid and stowed it quickly. Now she needed to brush her teeth and find something to eat to cover the smell of the alcohol, which would be vastly easier if her body weren't trying to stress itself into unconsciousness. She gripped her chest and tried to focus on slowing her breathing, but nothing was working. The alcohol wouldn't kick in for at least a few minutes, but at this rate, she would be beyond it’s help by then. Grimacing, she knew what she had to do. Her body needed release, and since going out and getting into a fight wasn’t an option, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She needed to center herself, and pain worked best. She abandoned her plans to hide her alcohol breath and moved to the kitchen, finding a sharp knife. Slipping to the floor, her bare ass hit the cold floor with a dull ‘thud,’ but all she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears. _‘Like all those times you came while you were being raped,’_ her mind reminded her. With a growl, she traced the sharp edge against her upper thigh, the crimson line that trailed after sending a sick thrill through her body.

 

Jessica was almost in a trance, her breathing evening out as she watched the lines trailing behind the knife bubble up with blood. Slowly, she came back to herself, her mind slowing its fast-paced, self-destructive decent into hell. With a clatter, the knife hit the ground and Jessica folded into herself, sobbing uncontrollably. The pain from her thigh grounded her. After laying on the floor for what seemed like forever, she stood on unsure feet and went about attempting to clean the mess in the kitchen. When the alcohol hit her, she slowly made her way from the kitchen to the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and cleaned up, swiping a dark coloured face cloth across her thigh in a half-hearted attempt to clean the area. With a groan, she made her way unsteadily to the room, where she pulled on a new pair of jeans and a tank top. The swaying of the ship was throwing her off balance, and the alcohol was hindering her ability to compensate for the rolling and rocking of being on the sea. Then, with glee, she remembered. She could harm Kilgrave! She was no longer bound by Kilgrave’s command to not harm him. With the stinging pain in her thigh still reminding her of the need for retribution, she began to plot all the ways she could torture the man that had literally ruined her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on guys, if you're out there give me some love. Or hate. Just fuckin' comment, okay? I need to know what y'all are thinking.


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